This is where I'll write my Jeffersonian "you must be full of shit" crazy religious ideas that are a take off on other stuff.

OK, try this one out for size. All of the jews after they left pharoah were covered in all sorts of diseases that they had managed to get in captivity. After wandering in the desert for 40 years and feeding off of "mana from heaven" they managed to find cures for various diseases that were based on discovering antibiotics from molds. So the Virgin Mary grew up and lived later when she didn't have to worry about such things and was free from sin in the sense that she was most likely something of a prostitute. She slept around in other words and didn't worry about disease among the various tribes. She most likely slept with Roman soldiers as well. Anyway, Jesus comes along and he goes around giving away antibiotics to the poor and doing the equivalent of miracles by curing the sick, but is later given up by Judas Iscariot because he was doing so for free and his followers were...well...sick of it. So Pontius Pilot (plot twist, he's Jesus' father) ends up killing his son by sticking him with a spear. But Jesus manages to live for 40 more days because he's so filled with disease mixed with antibiotics that his own body ends up not dying of sepsis. Later he doesn't die but becomes so crippled that he's an outcast for society and ends up as a friendless beggar for the rest of his life. Weird right? That's just Jesus too.