August 28, 2025

So I've added a GoFundMe portal on the payment page and I'm also adding IndieGogo as well. I'm completely broke and I've been kicked out of most of the shelters because I don't like being sickened, so we'll see what happens. If I had enough money for a cheap computer and a cell phone with a camera that wasn't one of the ones that are messed up that you can get off the street I could start writing some backend code (oh please oh please) and start making something interesting - at least enough to have a database I could call my own on a server somewhere. Let's see what else. Oh you'll find this interesting - I know I do. It makes me a laugh a bit -

So the South China Morning Post (and confirmed by a peer reviewed paper in Science so this appears to be real - you can follow the discussion here) that a team of scientists has discovered a way to turn mixed plastic waste - which is important because recycling by plastic type is difficult and doesn't always work - into hydrocarbons of six and twelve chain types. Which means gasoline. Which leads to the following questions. What would this do to the world supply of gasoline and the price? What would this do to international relations between the United States and China and between the United States and some of it's largest oil importers (say Saudia Arabia)? What's even more interesting is what would this do to the stock price of electric vehicles? And then you're like...wait a minute. Isn't there a Federal Reserve meeting to decrease the cost of borrowing by the end of the month - and what would that do to the cost of borrowing? And how would Trump's Decision to fire Lisa Cook tie into this (if at all)?

So I had this conversation with copilot about the valuation of Elon Musk's stock with two overlying conditions. One that within the next five years that all or a majority of plastic waste is converted into ethanol and then the second question was the difference in a tight or lose monetary policy and how both of these factors would affect Tesla's stock price. So first, the output isn't necessarily completely trustworthy as you have the tendency to want to stack extremes without knowing if there will be any innovation or change in the meantime. However to the extent that these forces align a lower monetary policy would allow cheaper corporate debt and allow Musk to defend the company while the faster the plastic to ethanol conversion takes place in the economy the harder it is to defend the company. Under a quick conversion and a tight monetary policy he may lose the company.and this is the next one I'm supposed to care about so if you get headphones that are wired and you put it into your phone you can use the phone as a radio because the phone will use the headphone line as a radio but if you don't have money for headphones then you can't listen to the radio and so you're not going to listen to whatever everyone else is listening to when they say hey you can do this over here you can do that over there and then they don't publish that publicize it anywhere else and then it becomes a game of who can wear the headphones to get the free s***and I don't want to wear the headphones and then if you do wear the headphones then you'll become six of it if you stop wearing a headphones then it's it's just dumb doesn't bother me so much as it's just like okay somebody said next to me and said hi Peter and then they look slightly like me and then they were like you're going to ask later who that was and I'm like okay I guess maybe is probably a guy pretending to be me and getting free s*** or something like stealing my identity and then someone's going to say I'm crazyat some level it's like yeah but you can't steal who I am because I'm the guy that b****** all the time and if you don't have that guy no one else is going to step up you don't like me cuz I'm like a f****** supermodel I mean let's be realistic here right it doesn't matter holy s*** there's a line first for there is a ginormous line for supreme also somebody who is fat and like was probably sick opened a diet Coke just as soon as like I they opened a diet Coke just as soon as I was signing up for something and then the form workedso either the either the AI is magic or it's just coordinating s*** with the with the f****** cameras everywhere I don't know it's so hard to tell but this is supposed to make me freak out and it's like all I want to do is make computers work and not be sick and then like read books and if I can't do that just get a stupid job and then work at Walmart I don't know usually if everyone's going to the supreme store then there's going to be like I'm assuming it has something to do with like a supreme court thing or something I don't knowI I bitched at my parents cuz I was kicked out of the last shelter and I'm like food insecure now cuz you know I am I don't have money until the 1st unless somebody pays me on my website and I mean I have a place to sleep tonight and it's like well they kicked me out of the shelter because they coughed on my things and then when I washed my clothing in the sink they were angry I took the soap dispenser off the wall it's like okay so you're going to be angry at me because you poisoned me that seems sort of self-fulfilling doesn't itI think what it might be is is that like they coordinate everyone to like go do one thing at the same time but if someone listens to music that's like offbeat of what everyone else does they're much less likely to be susceptible to like manipulation so if if there's a group of so it's essentially like ants but stupider so if there's a thing where like some people are susceptible to like they're highly susceptible to like hypnosis and they do a bunch of s*** and then someone else or some other group of people are like slightly susceptible to hypnosisthen what you can do is you can start singing and seeing if you can make everyone run around in circles so that's probably why they have the stupid radio is because if you listen to the radio then you're not doing what everyone else is doing because your programming yourself with like an antidote except it's not a biological antidote it's more of like a you're screwing with your own head till like you're screwing with your own head to like screw with how everyone else is screwing with you and if if people are bothering you you just like listen to musicand tune it all out and then your less susceptible to doing something stupid because someone else did something and then freaking out about it which just encourages the whole thing which means I should probably buy a pair of headphones but then you're like addicted to headphones right then you're the guy who's like I have to have headphones or I'm not going to be able to function which is the same with my phone I do the same s*** with talking to the phone I don't know so I took a piece of paper for my guy who works for some legal aid clinic but I didn't eat the candy and now I'm going over to some other place to like get canned food and everyone's doing all the stupid s*** about f****** with me till like stupid things and then if I mention it then it's going to be like he mentioned that we went around burping and sighing and coughing and doing all sorts of crazy s*** while wearing stupid clothing they did the thing that Ghostbusters and they ran around me in circleslike they play the theme of Ghostbusters and then had a bunch of people run around me in circles and then drive a car in front of me while wearing headphones and then blow smoke in my face and it's just like yeah I guess but at the same time don't you just get exhausted at all don't you just look at all the abandoned buildings and say isn't there more than just f****** with each other that's the word that gets me it's like I wanted to know about the s*** I knew he was probably sick so what he gives a fuck but if I mention that and then everybody knows and like I'm probably sick so it's more or less like the thing is is that if you just treat people like normal at least to some extent and they're not intentionally sicking me sickening you or f****** with you does it matter because most of this s*** is going to get cured with AI anyway I mean I figure that in like five years along with all the plastic being fixed because that's the newest craziest s*** they're just going to like if people have this problem they're just going to throw it in AI machine and then it's going to fix it and they're going to they're going to come out with a pill and it's going to cost a dollar and then there's going to be one guy who has a big mansion that everybody hates who has a bunch of cars and he has all these you know beautiful women and then people aren't sick anymore with the whatever this s*** is so it's just I just wish people weren't f****** with me intentionally that's the thing that bothers me is like the street theater with the f****** with me intentionally s*** that's like if I if I can't put up with that then it's going to be somebody sickening me and you just fastly back and forthbut meanwhile you're walking past all these abandoned buildings and it's like well why don't you just not do that but you can go and do anything else I know I'm an easy target cuz I complain but all you're going to get is me complaining about how much of a s*** head you are which you already knew because you set out to be a s*** head but like you didn't make art you didn't write a book you didn't read a book you didn't you made a secret so that you have to be friends with the cool people to find the secretand then if you're not friends with the cool people people will harass you and make you feel sick or seeking you and so everyone wants to be friends with the cool people and it's just like I just don't give a f***at some level if you are like if you are more annoying than whatever sick I have it's just not worth it can you imagine that you're more annoying and more of a piece of s*** than whatever sick I have you're just more obnoxious you're more obnoxious than the plague it's like a competition to see which is worsewhy would you want to be in the running for that doesn't make any sense it's like look can we convince him that we're worse than the plague well I mean if you try hard enough probably it seems like obvious right like if you if you just spend s*** tons of money to harass someone and then follow them around and f*** with them I'm sure you can you could be like I'm I'm equally as annoying as the plague therefore you should do what I want so you know I don't I just don't know I don't want to I'm going to call you an idiotmarket Street is filled with idiots I think f****** with the food supply is annoying like you shouldn't do that I mean come on I mean I don't know you think at some point there be rules but they don't they don't believe in rules it's just anyway I'm just complaining now but if I eat food I'm going to be f***** with or if I go and ask for food then it's then I'm a terrible person and I'm not starving myself sufficiently like I've had 500 calories today and I stayed up all night and an emergency room while my feet swole we're swollen because I was walking barefoot and I have blisters in my feet you know it's just like where do I qualify for leave me the f*** alone and I know that my outfit of my phone is probably going to a radio station and it's getting everybody all excited and stuff and they say and now the news from the idiot and then they play me and then they go okay now we're going to play Pink Floyd in The nine inch nails and then whatever the f*** kids are listening to these days because you take the annoying people and you take the output from their phone and you put it through a radio station and then someone walks by with the radio station on there's t-shirtit's like okay cool what why was it is it because you're so screwed up you can't use the internet or somebody's going to find where you are and poison you well that's your fault for doing what idiots tell you to do don't do that I mean if they sick in you then you should b**** and then find out who the a****** is and then f*** them over you know and I don't know it just it's like none of it like it's just a complete lack of common sense I think and then you'll have somebody who's like I've done nothing but read books and accumulate sick for years and I find that offensive that I don't use the internet and I will poison you in ways that are incredibly difficult to determine how it's been done and you will feel stupidand it's like yeah but you poisoned me cuz you have no moral sense cuz you're an a****** so you haven't proved anything they're just all obnoxious so I saw someone wearing a shirt that said Hot Wheels on it and it reminds me of weekendstein because he has this idea of like pictures and then he saw like in traffic court that they would use cars and puppets and s***so I brought through wickenstein there's some things in there where I'm like I asked this on a forum and I I think that people think that my philosophy is like derivative which it may be but it like if I find it My philosophy is derivative it's not going to like upset my worldview I'm just going to like change my philosophy which you know so I saw this thing were like I saw this thing in wickenstein where we can sign had we can sign mentioned atomism as the base foundation of fact and I don't hold that to be true because you have quantum flux and so quantum flux is what creates days on which creates things and then I mentioned that like if that changes then I'll change my world view right cuz like you're always you're always iterating to like anytime science comes along and destroys your philosophy you have to go back to the drawing boardsso like philosophy has to end up having silly things where they'll have people arguing over what the color blue means which you know it's like okay that's not as interesting to me but one of the things that I found interesting is that wickenstein has this atomist view of the universe in which like he believes it comes from from atomic facts which were important in chemistry at the time and then Heidegger is all about that he mentioned as the radio is this as if this describes the weed right which maybe how the radio thing was involved with everyone wearing headphonesso I don't like I I'm of the contention that like we needed we needed to my motivation for writing My philosophy is that I was interested in philosophy of mind and if you create the ideal philosophy of mind then you can come up with how an AI should should ideally work which my language ends up being somewhat similar to a lisp with recursion and I believe that it's more or less an easier way of explaining what they're calling higher order logic because you have you have logic with generics essentiallywhich has been known in programming for some time so maybe just that these philosophers are getting all excited about something that everybody already was sort of at some point they're going to start getting excited about concurrency it's like what if we can have two ideas at the same time what would that be like and then they're going to start arguing about ark and mutex and then everyone is programmed in rust is going to laugh but that's not like it's so there's this back and forth of like which it's a chicken in the egg rightlike which came first the chicken or the egg I mean I would be able to contention that philosophy is always a prior and so it always makes s*** up and then science always proves it wrong and then philosophy has to go back and say okay what else can we make s*** up about about how we feel and science can make s*** up too but it has to it has to empirically prove it but I find it interesting because you had you had so like in some sense the motivation for what I'm talking about is I thought I was important and so here's here's here's my belief and consciousness and therefore you should be able to come up with AI from thisat least some of the parts because it's a mechanics it's a mechanical point of view and so like you know when you when you start talking about like motivation and what it feels like to be motivated if you're taking this mechanical point of view this is what you see in others but it's not how you feel personally and then I describe how that works but again if like AI is the big thing for which everybody cares about for like a couple years and then it stops being the big thing and there's some other big thing that comes alongthe question is not whether what I had to say was right or wrong but how what I had to say can be modified in light of the new invention of whatever that is because like math psychology in the way that Heidegger was talking about and like the idea of a weed that goes back to war of the worlds when they did the radio play and everyone freaked out like that s*** still happens and with AI can be worse because you can make fake news broadcasts so like that part of human experience still exists I just it's not it's notit's not it's not that it's wrong it's just that I feel that it's not as a priority of what reality is it's compared to this new model and that's all that it is and in some sense I believe it explains religion without having to do with like once you explain religion in many ways it doesn't it doesn't give you the feeling of religion because you've only analytically explained it and so the question is is can you use this to like pair this with feelings like they did with the with the model for can you do this like they did with with the arrowwood database andI spell that wrong but you know what it is and like AI modeling of language of trip reports from drugs but could you do this with religious experience and then mapping it out of this model and seeing if there were similarities and then what would that tell you about human experience itself maybe in some weird way like the Amish the zoroastrians and Hindu mystics all share the same sort of belief system in terms of language when it comes to interpretive dance right like you don't know but if you start mapping some of these things then you can find out something that's usefulall without mechanizing someone's Free Will in which case you know something more about someone than they know themselves and then you use that against them but like I talk about like the importance of consciousness and then and then like Jason which is the underpinning of being which I tied of what I believe is a quantum understanding of analytics and it's like okay so we could we could it's like technology right now is on a is on a like once they've come out with these agentic models I believe right now we're more or less on thethey came up with the agentic models they came out with banking plastic turn into gasoline I think we're at the point now where there's going to be like a new we're going to live in a state of Future shock which will be weird I have this thought right we're like supposed that you came up with this idea for a robot it would be let's say it's like a spider robot and it uses a genetic AI to make to make all of the to make all the lidar work and make all the make all the parts of the robot work and you know it would be successfulbut you also know that because of the trajectory of all the inventions that are happening by the time you get the factory set up and you start turning out the first robots someone will have come out with a model that's 10 times as good and half as expensive and so by default you might not make the factory even though it could be useful because someone someone else after you've invested all this money would come out with something even even more useful which is weird because it's sort of the opposite of what I was saying with like environmental apocalypse in my original paper which was the motivation for why I was doing it why I wanted an AI but now that you have the AI and you have all of this compute power the question is is like what you know what are you going to do from there how does that change society and so in some sense like when you look at these philosophers that come up with these incredibly fancy models and then Heidegger says that the thing that you have to the thing that's important in life is care it's like who decides and it's weird too because like if he if he didn't like the radio like supposedly that the radio wasn't the invention for which it inspired him but he likes television what do you still have come up with the idea that the thing that you should care about is care because maybe the way that he would have thought about thinking itself would have changed which is to say that I'm only in some sense deterministic in my own free will because it's bounded and it's a compatible list viewpoint and that what I have to say is a philosopher about the meaning of life is bootstrapping because I'm in life as isand so I can't come up with something that would be completely objective if I tried it's just not possible so in some sense philosophy is fashionable science so you shouldn't take it all that seriously there was a bunch of other stuff that I thought was interesting like I disagree with his notions of Truth because I think that he doesn't put enough importance on sets and that once you have sets like I agree with him to some extent on what sets are useful but he doesn't use sets in a way that I think is strict enoughalthough I believe that all of the like like the higher order logic people are using sets to the extent that it'd be way more restrict than me so that's maybe a matter of taste and then I think the thing where he's like well the idea in your head is just a picture it's like yeah well some people have like ideas in their head that are words some people have ideas in their head that are that are emotions some people have ideas that are that are in their head that send anesthesia until like that's just like like a limited experience from his own belief systembut the thing at the end where he's like those things that we can't say we must pass over it's like why I also find it weird where he's like you can't say it's raining and not raining at the same time you don't have to pass over that I mean it's obvious that it's some gradation that you come unto the absolute okay if you take words right if you take the words and phrases to have meaning and then you take the meaning to have an absolute reality at some point and then you say there's no way to get to this absolute reality but if you but if you do then you can't get to nonsensical statements then all you're saying is is that people have this finite ability to know absolute truth to the extent that it emerges from dasein which to some extent is trivial right like I can only perceive colors to the extent that I'm capable of doing so and other people who've worked at it for years in like a monastery or something may have like developed the ability to see colors I can't I mean that's a strange example but like at some level that's a phenomenal example but you can think of things where it's like it's like a computational example as well which is more mathematically based or an emotional or an emotional context and at some point when you reach absolute truth to the extent that it's even possible to get there you still know that there's something beyond thatand the reason we know that is because we have subjective understanding from the context of others but all of that is to say from that which we don't know we can't speak of it's like yeah because you have to define truth based on sets because everything at some point is a set you can define you can divide it as many times as you can until you get to raw atoms or like rock quarks or raw quantum but at some point I rejected his idea but at some point I rejected his idea that like that like metaphysics doesn't exist because by doing so he's taking an objective viewpoint and we're subjective people and so the metaphysical context is such where you are beyond yourself and so and my model is a subjective one to the extent that you can say what is subjective and what isnt answer my critique of weekendstein is like from that which we we don't know we can't speak it's like well yeah except all of the platonic stuff right so there's there's all sorts of there's all sorts of problems with that right to the extent that he believes that to the extent that wickenstein believes that did he send that we can sign says like you can't know anything other than fact at some level is either is one it's trivial right if we assume if we assume the person that has the absolute power and capability that any person could have in every subjective possible sensebecause in many ways if you you know if you're drunk or if you're high or if you are if you lose yourself in some way you have other feelings than that for which you are like you know of and even if it's not objectively true it's objectively true at the time and you have the you have this idea of weakenstein that he would never get drunk like you wouldn't have this idea because he hasn't had the experience of it now maybe he was like you know an outgoing party person but I just don't see it and so in many ways this is one of these things were like the philosopher impinges their own like emotional framework on that for which they are expressing and they're not talking about truth they're talking about themselvesand so that for which we pass over we can't say first eat like first it's trivial second he rejects the subjective and then the third part is that he doesn't put enough emphasis on set theory for that for which it because that's the basis of his truth and I don't think that he I don't think that he either adequately defined it or like put enough emphasis on it like if you're going to say that your truth is primarily based on set theory you should say that on the outside and make that an incredibly clearand again like I say something similar for what I believe truth is but I also say that it has to have the the property a implies b be imply c a m i c it's like the complimentary property if truth doesn't have that then it's just a collection of facts and it doesn't feel right so you know I find we can stand interesting I think he was going way overboard with the analytics and he missed half of human experience because of it and like he doesn't even with a logical framework even with a completely logical framework using nothing but like platinism you should be able to say that there's nonparametric information passing which itself is bizarre and weirdand that's outside of any kind of like that's outside of any kind of like emotional like existentialism but yeah like if you look at if you look at like Sartre right sartras searches like this stranger excuse me not this it's not the stranger that's camus nausea so the thing with nausea is that right like with nausea it's again it's it's a feeling somebody went by and their stupid car going as fast as possible because because we can Stein talked about because we can start talked about cars every time I talk about philosophy on my phone I'm going to have an idiot drive by in their hot car acting like a douchebag so exciting and boring in any case it's it's so that you can't walk down the street thinking about philosophy or writing about philosophy because that's not allowed if you're homeless or poor because someone managed to get a car and they're an a******they should write a book about it and have it go down the ages how I got a car and was an a******I think that one's been written before in any case yeah so one of the things that's weird is that like biologically speaking and this is in San Francisco so I'm mixing likelike philosophy with objective reality on the ground but like there are feelings that certain philosophers have had which have inspired they're not their writing and their thinking and so this idea of like nausea that comes from that comes from sertra may have been his may have been like the main character getting as close to Jason as he possibly could and then having that cause him to forget himself in some way and then that caused nausea and he tied the emotion in his in his biological beingand then that has all sorts of stuff to do with like determinism in the mind body problem and what it means to think in all sorts of s***so the counterpoint to this is like the eureka eureka and you just have a bath and then you feel differently and then you think differently so anyway all of this is interesting it doesn't mean that like I take it all that seriously other than like one of the traps you'll get into is that somebody who's like really into religion will take a 2000 year old book which has the best case of survivorship bias you've ever seen it's like even if you disagree with this s*** which I doit's going to be hard to come up with philosophy off the cuff where you're like yeah and you're wrong so cuz this is just it's just really hard so and that's one of the things that science is so good at is that it can it can say yeah you're wrong because I can do this thing over here and this thing over here is the demonstrate it demonstrates in reality that thing for what you say does isn't possible and so you know philosophy is one of these things which is always battling science and then if anyone takes philosophy too seriously they're in the position of likegoing down with the shippers or forming a religion because you know if your philosophy is based on the horse and buggy and someone has an automobile you're totally f*****but then you get these things where it's like what communism versus capitalism that's a word that's gone on for ages and neither is right and so if you're too committed to either you're totally screwed anyway I saw this because of a stupid t-shirt and then I said a Hot Wheels oh whittenstein and then I started thinking about my reading of wittenstein and I just wanted to like write out in a in like a long-form thing of like I like wickenstein I feel a bit bad for him I think of you smoked a joint you probably know more than we can Stein because he never would have done that and I don't know I one of the things that's funny is that I think that all the automated cars may have come up may have been inspired by a passage from wickenstein's mistress because in there there's a runaway taxi that's like automated which may have been poking fun at at wickenstein and his Hot Wheels reference or is his car reference or somethingbut whoever came up with the automated like waymo cars must have been reading Liechtenstein and so one of the things with philosophy is is that even if it can be proven wrong by science right it can still be inspirational and see you have this tension between like saying s*** that's crazy and that people will say no I don't believe in that it's ridiculous and then they'll try and prove you wrong out of spite because they like this other system over here more and you're overturning their systemor just because you're a prick that's the other thing with Wittgenstein is that he doesn't say anything about morality and I you know I I have a contention that if you have a subjective worldview to some extent you have to say something about reality because some truths are shared only as a communal experience not all of them right many of them many of the non-parametric stuff any case many of the non-parametric stuff that drives me up a wall as well but like the things that people believe in most I'm from human Rightsand we can sign start stems in many ways from human Rights because that's the basis for much of his analytical thinking because it's the basis for much of his emotion which which comes really close to like how he views the world just as viewing objects because he has an emotional attachment to the object which again is in some sense this is another way it's unspeakable is that it's beyond what can be spoken of but by not acknowledging that it's sort of like a it's just sort of like I don't care about thatwhich is like okay I guess but then that just becomes an opinion rather than a fact you don't care about the things for which inspire much of your thought even though you claim to be saying what all thought is and so you just say I'm not going to talk about it it's like okay I guess anyway that's all I had to say I keep trying to think if I missed anything if I was doing this seriously and I was writing a thesis or an academic paper I could probably like you know spend more time on it and careand then like you know make make you know go through peer review and talk to a professor and all that happy horseshit but like I just wanted to write down all the things that I was thinking about with Wittgenstein cuz I was I was skimming his stuff and I saw a stupid t-shirt it'll be incredibly interesting if I feel the same way about My philosophy given the technological like background in 5 years as I do now given how fast that everything is moving it may be that in 5 years everything is gone to like all the technology is biotechnology and that's the big thing like more so than it is now and I think that might be might be true and then and then I rewrite the entire thing based on that instea i dont know some idiot hacked into my phone and then wrote I'm sorry and then walks by me so they hacked into the phone they wrote I'm sorry into the like into the premise of the of the like tag that people like to f*** with me where they'll say I'm sorry and then they'll f****** over it's like the backwards version of the I'm sorry thing or like the I'm sorry game it's like yes I know you can hack this I don't care I could reproduce it most of it from myself it's like it's not it's a neocities website what do you expectI'll just make another one but it's some douchebag in the shelter who like they have a computer there it's one of these things for like you can't give them anything that's the frustrating part of it is that you can't give them anything because they'll just use it for violence it's like we have a computer I'm going to hurt somebody with it that's cool and then because of that no one will make anything because you have a you have a room full this is the place where I was poison in a room with 150 people and no one said anything is it you'll have you'll have somebody make something cool and then somebody's like well I can piss on itso that's cool so anyway I had somebody right I'm sorry on my web on my web form and save over like part of what I wrote and then somebody asked me like a carrier like what phone I had or to give me a phone and I made it some lame joke and it had a black guy go past it the same time so I heard that one already and it's like okay and it's based on like don't repeat yourself and dry and like it's a joke about like coding cuz I was looking that s*** up and like they bugged my phone so it's just like all those guys a jackass anyway if the whole thing disappearsor I say my worst fears and then they're going to break it and it's like okay it's just yet another thing you've broken the best part about all this is it's like you're you're going to break s*** and then anyone that builds anything you're going to break it until they only make things that you like because you're a jackass I complain about everything mostly around being stalked and but like you know like I'll like comment to some guy on the street and then I'll have a guy wearing headphones like run up to me and likescrew with me just to do it and then they're going to have somebody modify the website it's okay I mean you could just I mean like I was being poisoned in The shelter by 150 jackasses I was begging my father to kill me last night because I was in so much pain and I was annoyed so I just you know it's like they're assholes there's just nothing part of the thing is where I get depressed is it's not a personal thing with depression or like sadness it's more along the lines of like I'm not I'm not used to dealing with people who are just assholes all the timeand so I'll have this thing we're like I'll have like this nice wonderful beautiful thing going on with wickenstein and I'm enjoying my philosophy and I'm writing it all down and I'm being productive and then I'll have somebody piss on it just to do it it's like why because they're assholes and all they believe in is money but they don't believe in it in any kind of productive sense they believe in it in like the you don't want to have you don't want to deal with poisonous assholes and therefore you must be a billionaire and therefore we're going to stalk you like just like crazy people thinking I'm just s***** and then I say something and everyone's like oh let's put them in a bubble again he can't stand other people so anyway I just I didn't know find some way of being like you're against freedom because stalking you and f****** with you and screwing with your website that's against freedom I mean being angry about that is against freedom calling us assholes that's against freedom you can't do that but it's like it's it's similar where like I'll talk about something beautiful that I'm working on and then and then somebody comes up to me and goes you know what you should really be doingyou should be describing how the people in San Francisco are incapable of having anyone around them in any way where it's not destructive and it's all raised space violence or it's age-based violence or it's like I'm not going to call it microaggressions because this is a stupid liberal thing it's like it's stalking someone and then f****** their s*** up it's like I'm not going to your website and f****** your s*** up and then following your ass around and the reason I'm not doing that is because one I don't care and I'm too I'm not a prick and three you don't make anything worth pissing onso I just find people like that and I go oh it's an a****** why can't he be an a****** over there go go do your assholes away from me why not just try it out for a change see what happens oh and these people are incredibly good at mind f*** so like they'll try to have me project onto someone I was talking to my father all last night about how I should have money so I'm not killed with germs that would make me sick while I'm in the hospital with my feet bleeding and hadn't had food all night or day and then you know and he says you're projecting you need therapy so you know I'm not going to take crazy pills the last thing I want to do is be locked in the closet with these assholes and have them force feed me medication when they can't control the wrong drug drug problem in any case he says no no you're projecting and so he he gets the guy to f*** with me so that I make the same argument against the guy that's f****** with me as my father would make against him what I don't read his books which is like that's cool so I'm against violence where someone is poisoned and stalked and so you have me poisoned in stocked for arguing that I'm not as artistic as you are and you like don't like being me being around you by hiring thugs that doesn't like okay I wanted enough money so that I could leave San Francisco so I wouldn't be poisoned in my sleep and being physical pain all the time of which I didn't do anything of that to my father but they'll have somebody like f*** with me so that I end up making the same argument that my father would make against mebecause I've been mechanized to the point where I have certain thought forms because I've been drugged and abused in a shelter in my sleep you have to be a special kind of stupid to have to drug someone in order to win an argument so I mean I know this is someone that just either listened in on my conversation with my father or like bugged my phone is like some psychopath in one of these psych clinics and then man in the middle of the the text conversation just to see if they can make me project what they wanted the argument to be so I would argue against myselfbut my argument still stands projection or not withstanding I mean this is getting into it incredibly Connie and weird thing but like if someone's going to be a prick like that and follow you around and stalk you and drug you I mean that's f***** up right that's Rico I'm calling my father because I don't want to be killed and I don't have any money that's there's no similarity right but if you say oh you're just projecting and then you you create the conditions for which the argument would come out and say ah you're a robotbut you come up with a creative thing yourself you want them to leave you alone it's wonderful of my father that he makes science fiction novels I wasn't stalking him because of it I most like I mostly wanted a place to live where I wouldn't be sick and then I was forced to go to therapy because I was shot at in a shelter in New York City and then I ran away instead of toilet paper on fire because I called the cops and they wouldn't do anything so you know someone's shooting off a gun in a shelter in New York City in 2019 and December and then you said toilet paper rolls on fire because the police who were in The shelter laugh at you and say nothing is wrong after you haven't slept for 2 weeks that definitely means you need two years of therapy and then for for your father to say for the rest of your life that you're crazy because you're unwilling to take pills that you don't need and he's and like all of the evidence not withstanding everything in San Francisco is destroyed and people are f****** with each other but yeah I see it I see how I was f***** with so I made a projecting type argument in a lavonian sense for all I know my father's books are good I haven't read them they look okay I mean there's just so much good science fiction out there like Samuel or Delaney and Philip k dick and and Jack Vance if I just read all of their stuff it would take me a couple years like I don't like that's just the stuff I know I know of her can think of off the top of my head but like it's just a completely nonsensical argument on its face and again I'm arguing against the projection that was done to me based on an a****** but I suppose it's a type of a****** and my father saying yes this is a type of a****** it's like okay well I don't want to be poisoned and I need a job and if I could have nothing to do with my father and live somewhere where I wasn't going to be poisoned like the middle of Kansas and I went and I worked at Walmart and I wasn't poisoned and I could come home and I could read a book that would be happy for the rest of my lifein any case I don't find the whole projection thing where you like f*** with somebody so they make the argument for you all that convincing it's just like you know how they think you are you shoot an artificial intelligence that they're output you mechanize their thought form and you come up with what they would say but then they recognize that and then they go back and they say yeah but wait a minute first what you're doing is a moral on its face because you're mechanizing a human being which is f***** up the other thing is isyou're doing it in such a way that you have bad faith so you know that you're deceiving someone so they make an argument for which they're supposed to feel stupid but yourself deception like the deceiving of the person itself is like more morally reprehensible than either the argument than anything the argument could be on his face because you're like you're screwing with them and so this this is also something where it's like it goes back to wickenstein it's like that for which we can't talk we we shouldn't you know we can't say we shouldn't do it's like if anyone was screwing with wickenstein in a projecting sort of way where they like mechanize itself then we can sign should have said I'm being f***** with and I don't like it and you don't have to know the exact mechanism because at some level you can't because it's done in such a way where there's more moving pieces than than you have because you're a set within a set and that's how that's how someone can push a button and have the mechanization occur right they know the inputs and the outputs because your set is within a larger set but it still means the guy that did it to you is a prickbecause it comes from bad faith because you're a bad person and if I have any dealings with you in the future I know that you're going to manipulate me and so therefore you're untrustworthy for the power that you have over other people because you abuse it and giving all that and that my needs are so small it's like I want 2000 calories not to be poisoned and have a place to sleep in any sort of arguments were that like that's not supposed to that's not good enough it's like well if I don't have that I can't get a joblike if I don't have the basic necessities of society all you're telling me is that I'm going to die or you're going to f*** with me in which case I'm just going to like make fun of you the entire time it's like oh look it's that prick so I found it for what it is it doesn't bother me so much as it's just annoying and then you know what I'm going to do I'm going to go back to reading my samular Delaney of science fiction novel and have nothing to do with this douchebagns this is interesting you'll find this is common so I'm being poisoned so that I'm sick so I was just kicked out of the shelter for eating the wrong thing and then being poisoned by having someone cough on my bed and then being kicked out of the shelter for cleaning my bed I haven't eaten for several days and before that I hadn't eaten for a week the 8 days and so I'm coming back from a shelter for which they tell me that there's no shelters available which I've gone to every shelter and then I come back from a shelterwhere they say they don't have any beds after someone jumps in front of me to get a bed and I'm walking back and and someone's playing that someone's playing the violin like classical violin like concert level classical violin on the street corner for money but he is quite a crowd and of course what I do is I call him a jackass because I can play concert level violin except with programming but I can't because my hands are f***** up because I've been seriously poisoned by crazy people but see the thing is is that when you surround someone with a circle of b******* and then you poison them repeatedly any attempt to pierce the circle of b******* with people who aren't ill rather than pull the person outrather than pull the person out and tell them they're being had and like fix the situation will result in someone being psychotic or angry and so what you do is you what you do is you try and make it so that the person is sick and then you slowly add people into the circle where everyone around them is better at what they do or what they can't do anymore because you've crippled them and then anytime they have an outburst you make the circle of b******* even worse right and then you blame them for psychoticismafter stress testing them and surrounding them with crazy people so it's their fault that they were angry at the person who is a consciento violinist and so when I'm walking back to the shelter now there's someone who is just like slowly drumming the guitar like they do with the at the like they do at the at the place where you can get food that the farmers market over by the library because the circle of b******* is upset that I don't like the circle of b******* right and so they're trying to make me feel welcome in the circle of b*******because I yelled at the person who was clearly piercing the veil of I'm being f***** with but then it means that I'm crazy right this is how you can tell every time that they try and tell you how you're being f***** with and then it's like yeah but we sickened you so you're crippled now so ever it like what if you wanted to learn to play the violin well you can't because your neck is f***** up so that you can't have your you can't have your shoulder touch your neck your shoulder touch your ear so you can ever play the violin anymore because we f***** up your backand you can't you can't do things with your fingers you used to be able to do because we tortured you the thing with f****** up your back that was fun that was one that one was the one where you can't touch your ear that I had a girl walk past who was 16 years old with her parents just so that I could see her do it and then the parents could watch cuz it's like we get to f****** your back and then and then have our child do it in mimic that they know that you're being tortured while we watch a block away from a homeless shelterand it both makes me look stupid because I can't play the violin like Sherlock Holmes but of course I have other qualities that I like that means that I'm not an arbitrary fictional character even though I don't like it when people steal s*** so it's a multi-layered do you forgive us or do you remember that one time that we used a minor to mimic how we poisoned you for which they probably bought her a car and she got to tell all her friends how cool she was anyway they like to poison people in San Francisco and then bringingsee now every time I'm poisoned you can bring someone into the circle of b******* that I'm around so it's pleasant for everyone else to be around me but I can't do the things for which all the entertainers can do because I've been crippled isn't that fun isn't that entertaining and everything I'm telling you is true I didn't know why the girl was laughing and putting her shoulder next to her phone and then having her parents watch while they walked her down the street in front of me but now I dothey just wanted to use their child to show that they could get away with murder and use a minor to commit a felony oh and this is not at all different from the never own a saga whatever tail whichever you want thinks is hilarious and may or may not have anything to do with Wozniak because he's into the smiles minus frowns and everyone's going around with frowny backpacks and like smiling or frowning exaggeratedly and that's part of The princess and the like and the like like her guardian but the guardian isI'm still going to read the book it's a delightful book it's just that everyone here is an a****** and crazy and they abuse their children so I don't know weird right but that totally means I'm against freedom of speech and freedom of expression I'm not I just have my own freedom of expression of the only places in the city that are left to go to where I won't be poisoned are one is the hot team but if you get into a hot team van the last time I was in a hot team van someone drugged me before I was in it and then they carded me around the city repeatedly asking if I wanted to go to the mental hospital while playing covered in spiders on the radio and turning the air conditioning down to zero and before I got in a hot team van someone in a San Francisco t-shirt made big eyes at me after I before I was cast with drugsand I don't particularly want to do that and one of the navigation centers I was at had everyone die over period of 6 months and get carted away by ambulance and I never saw them again so I was just now at the navigation no I was just at 1050 South Van Ness and when I was here the last night last night and I was coming back I had everyone stalk me holding hands and then I was buzzed by a I was buzzed by a biker gang after I yelled at someone playing the violin for reasons I don't know or I didn't know but now I do because it was just a here's how we Pierce the veil oh by the way your back is f***** up isn't that coolp because it's funny because you're not Sherlock Holmes so I'm now being stalked by like fat people who have the disease that I have but worse and they go around licking their lips because it's like a it's a bunch of codependency to sort this thing that codependency is a bunch of comorbidity disorders where you have like fat fingers and fat bodies and you just lick your lips all the time it's weird and it sucks but he'll go down the street like looking at his phone and like licking his lips because he's concentratingit's just like this fat older guy in a dated dog shirt that's purple looking at his phone and licking his lips and he looks up at me confused so this is the second night of not being able to sleep or go anywhere and the only shelter so the only shelters that are left there's one on 7-Elevenso that's you know that sucks so I can't go there because she's sick and Post Street which is run by a woman who's sick it's a navigation center and it's known that she's sick just by the way she acts she has a she has the brain disorder that kills you and makes you like lose your memoryand then she f**** with the clients her name is Kim well this is all garbled she has the brain cuz I touch the button or something she has the brain disease where like it'll f*** you up over a period of time unless you cough on a group of people and then all those people have it and disperse it and then maybe the person doesn't die or they live longer and I don't particularly want to like go and live in an illness then where I'm going to be murdered so that's Kim it's 7-Eleven Post Street so if you go there you're going to get sick with this brain on this s*** and I can tell just from the way she talks and like the her mannerisms and being around sick people for a long enoughand then there's this place at 1050 South Van Ness where they won't let me in because you know I I was chased on the street by a biker gang it was doing wheelies and now they have a Volvo going down the street that looks like Piet mondrain they do this s*** where they're like find a car and then they'll f*** it up so that it looks like a certain color or something and then they'll like beat the s*** out of the car and then when they set the car on fire that's when they poison you or have it coordinated that you're going to be kicked out of the shelter or the terrible thing will happen so the last car the last car was like a station wagon again cuz it's a Woody wagon right it's like Woody woodpecker like a woody like a hard on and so when they torch that car that's the time that you're going to get kicked out of the shelter because you're no longer playing a video game you know when you talk on your phone or you write things down on the internet people get upset as before they were they were just joking around but what they were doing is they were driving the car around and then anytime anyone disliked the person they'd like scribble that guy's name on it until the car gets f***** up and then they torch the carand then they do this where they where they drive that around with everyone who knows what's going on and then the idiot is just surrounded by people in fast cars going really quick and he doesn't know what's going on until like he's tortured enough so that's that's like that's like part of the b******* circle of f****** with somebody because it's like you know it's a panopticon but you don't see what's going on because no one will tell you and then when you find out you realize that everyone hates youand then you're supposed to feel grateful for like the things that they give back to you in the sense that they're not going to hurt you anymore because you're surrounded by crazy people who will be like well we're not going to kill you and torture you anymore because there's no more money in it and it's just making us look bad and you're going to die anyway because we've already determined like we've poisoned you with something that'll kill you at a predetermined time so like the guy who went past in a Hot Wheels t-shirt had a pink T-shirt on that had the number 68 and he was like vacant staring like into space so and so he might die at 68 and have just figured that out or I might die at 68 and you know or maybe it's numerology I don't know anyway the the thing with the cars is like it's probably it's it's most likely you know what it is it's just truckers that are pissed that the automated cars are going to take their jobs and then they're going to find anyone that likes the internet or like computers and blame them for that s*** and it's like dude if I hit if I was the guy who invented automating cars do you think I would be living in a shelterso it's just these douchebags that are just pissed that like they're livelihood is going away and I just like I'm just like going on the internet and doing this s*** for free and begging for money so it's just people who have more money than you know what it is it just goes back to the stranger in a strange Land it's it's the monkey that's pissed that the other monkeys are beating on it so it finds a smaller monkey and it beats on that monkey and and then you're going to find all the guys with the stupid fast cars you're going to go fast around you and then they're going to blow up the car that looks like the Piet main mon drain car and then they blew up the car that looks like the whatever car the the the Nintendo 64 car and what it is is it's essentially saying like okay if this guy does this which is some constraint situation of activity we're going to have him poisoned right and so somebody probably had a music car and then they blew it up but I wasn't paying attention cuz I'm not going out on the street and playing music and busting for s***because I don't want to and then when they blew up that car they somehow they like poison me in my sleep so it f***** up my back and then they and then they use this 16 year old child to like f*** with f*** with me so that I know that I was poison so that I can't play the violin and to the next one is like oh well we poisoned the N64 car so now your hands are f***** up so you'll like lose the ability to type at some point and it just this s*** goes on and on and on and every time this s*** happens like the next guy comes here and like writes all this s*** down and then and then it's like slightly not as bad for the next person that's f***** with but no one learns because they've been doing this s*** for 5 years and it's the same result as beforeit's just a bunch of empty buildings and they're like it's probably somebody buying all this s*** up like it's probably like Elon musk or some douchebag anyway I'm just talking to myself at this point but it's like that's that's the circle of b******* involving cars and then I'm supposed to like it's like you care about things that aren't your business and therefore we will harass you with that s*** because you don't care about other other people it's like well not what I'm surrounded by people who are poisoning me I don'tI don't know that it's possible to find anywhere and then of course you don't know who's f****** with you and who is it and they're doing it for money and because you don't know anyone and you've been socially isolated it's like what am I going to do make friends with the guy who's the violinist when my back was f***** up specifically because the violinist guy and then they're going to what they do is they find the things for which you like like I like classical music it's pleasant and then or I like books and they're pleasant and then they'll find a story that's cool that you would like and then the f*** you up to it and then I didn't know have like a guy who would be like oh here's all these books that you would like and you read the book and you're like well this is how I was f***** with and you don't want anything to do with it so they're like no s*** about what you like in advance and then like it's called poisoning the well and again it might be funny because of like wellness theory and like a play on words and so what you do is you know what the guy is going to like and then in advance you f*** with them so he's not going to like that anymore or it'll like be traumatizingand sometimes the guy won't even know like again like I just had a s*** day after not sleeping and not eating and I see a guy with a violin that like is competent and isn't like a complete tool and I'm like well that guy has has like has like money and ability and I know I'm being f***** with in a b******* circle so this must be b******* by default since you end up becoming like the policeman of yourself and again it's just it's gangsters s*** like it's just gangsterism I mean at this point in order like like what I should do nowit's just ignore everyone and then having credibly high requirements for being my friend because I just don't believe that anyone is like capable of like I don't believe that anyone is capable I just I think that they are are evil by default but like in it like in an incredibly nasty f***** up way like just incompetently evil and this is why there isn't anything in the city right like everyone is so traumatized and f***** up that if you put in anything like people like things right people everyone who's come here where they like something you you'll have people f*** with them to it until it traumatizes them and then anyone that puts in anything you'll like the money involves to bring in the guide it like do the thing will make it so that the guy who was f***** with will like will like use all the secrets that he knows about how to f*** with somebody in order to like blackmail that person away or he'll find that guy and kill him so I don't know I'm going to try I'm going to walk around the block and try the shelter again the last time I asked to like like when I went to the general assistance building and I asked again if there was shelterthe woman told me to go to 7-Eleven post and the woman named Kim is incredibly ill like she's ill enough that she should like be in a hospital and not in charge of people so I don't know I've pissed off everyone in the city and there's nowhere to go so I'm going to probably just not sleep anymore or I'll become addicted to amphetamines because if I fall asleep on the street someone is going to murder me that's how you get people falling asleep in the libraries by the way you screw at them in the shelter so you keep drugging them and and then they start nodding out in public I mean it's a murder factory is it's that's what it is it's just a matter of like here's here's like how you murder someone by traumatizing them repeatedly and then giving them sick like my hands right now like first of all I have half my head hurt right which is most likely due to like a poisoning in my sleep my hands are like f***** up like I don't know how to describe this like my feet okay I walk around barefooter I have bad feet or something I don't do drugs and I don't touch things that are bad and I don't even know what that would mean but my hand but my hands are f***** up that I'm going to lose the functionality of my hands in 10 years they're just f***** there's nothing you can do and you can look at people's hands that's how you can tell how bad it is here is you just look at the hands if you don't like the back is one thing like people's back to get f***** up to the point where like you can tell if someone's a hunchback but if you look at people's hands you can really tell how bad it is here cuz it means that it's either scent that taste disease like lung disease or it's some sort of hand disease that like cripples peopleso like I you know the other thing is is that people will just lie to you they just lie because sometimes like you don't know if someone schizophrenic so you'll just lie to them because if you lie to them and they go away you don't know if it's because they have to because of the brain disease so I might just go back to see if like he was testing me you never know but yeah you just you just look at people's hands man if someone's incredibly f***** up and you and you like want to know where it is or how bad it is and you can't tell via like the way they're acting you just look at their hands and see if there's like way too many wrinkles at the knuckles and if they're hands look like they've been melted or noton fatter or bigger people like people get started getting big their hands will look puffy like balloons but on thin people it just looks like wrinkled knuckles and then the joints will get bigger at the at the at the knuckles and at the joints and I don't know what it is the skin look and see the skin will look waxy like there's something wrong with it like it's like a like a plasticy or something and I just I've been looking at pictures of hands for 6 months I have no idea what it is someone wore a t-shirt earlier that was had a pond that said advice on it that they follow me around with stupid t-shirts and then somebody was like that's interesting advice it's like yeah well I you know I I don't give a s*** at this point it's like I need to prevent plague like this is a plague it needs to end so I don't you got a t-shirt and you follow me around with stupid congratulations what was I what was I saying oh I mean yeah I have no idea what the f*** I'm going to do my father is well somy father and my mother are most likely sick my mom made a joke about a three-legged dog and there's a joke about a three-legged dog where he goes into the bar and ask who shot my paw I cut my own hand in the kitchen so maybe it's a joke about how I'm a three-legged dog I don't know I'm worried that my parents either aren't like rational or that they're crazy and and just angry or that they may be dead and someone is mimicking them I've had people like I've called the cops to have people check on them because they're in their 70s and '80s and then I'll have black gangsters who are doing drugs like check on me while I'm on the streetbut like not really just an obnoxious way right or like a codependent way or something again you don't know how old these people are and so yeah I don't know I'm probably not going to have shelter for I don't know how long because all of the shelter people are sick and then like you're surrounded by crazy until like the homeless will start like wanting you to like be friends with them and then all of your friends and family have decided to like not help you because they want you to die so you know I justand and it's one of these things were like there's a secret key right there's an easy answer and the easy answer is like hidden from you because it's a personality test if only you would do this and then whatever this is happens to be like you need to shake someone's hand or smile at someone or say the word please or and it's torture and that's part of my philosophy is that I just don't believe in torture than anyone that does is an a****** because that's something that we can all agree on but I've said this before it's the needle in the haystack like method of torture where it's just there's a secret right there's some easy answer there's some secret and once you find the secret then you're supposed to feel stupid for not having done that not having done that before and then this is a depersonalization because of course it's a depth for search the secret could be anything the secret could be like you have to eat an ice cream on an alternative Sunday that sounds like a pun the point is the secret could be anything and then if it seems cutesy you're supposed to have a post hawk realization that you were dumb when in fact it's just a matter of like let's have everyone f*** with the guy until he does this and the only way he'll know to do this is if someone takes pity on him and tells himat which point one of the people that's f****** with him is going to tell him after they've abused him enough because we're going to give the ability to abuse this person to people who don't like him out of jealousy or fear or hate or whatever out of some negative emotion until the guy shows that he's not a negative person and demonstrates value and then he's supposedly good people will like like feel bad for the guy and then and then tell and then tell him the secret all of which is just a method of tortureit's like there's a bunch of people who hate this guy so we're going to make him make friends with the people who hate him or we're going to have him killed and every time you describes how everyone around him is a tool and they're completely like s*** people and then does it in such a way that like explains it in like long form rhetoric it makes everybody around him look bad and then they learn from that and they make friends with each other and they start like doing the right thing but they still hate the guy who said somethingso then you're training the people who you who are like hateful and spiteful how to do it in a way that's like more cunning but since they operate on the basis of bad faith it just doesn't matter because they'll just hide it better so you know it's like if only he did drugs with us that's one group of people if only he did religion with us that's another group of people and then you have these groups that are like none of the groups talk to each other or you have to make friends individually and start a narrative with friendship between likelike learning about other people and forming connections and social groups and all of this sounds exciting and it all sounds like oh well you should be doing that anyway and it's like no man I need a place to sleep food to eat and close on my back where I'm not going to be poisoned and then I need a job and if I can't have that there's no point in living like friendship and all that s*** that's secondary to being able to sleep at night and eat food I mean this is basic Maslow's hierarchy of needs s*** like I don't need other people if I'm food if I'm like food deprived and worried about like my teeth falling out or like my my fingers like rotting but they'll Force you they'll force you to still attempt to force socialization in order to prevent your fingers from rotting as some sort of like like rationalization about Good and evil it's just bizarre it's it's just and then anyone who doesn't find out the secret they just import more socially inept people and like more more people who are who are like who have things that are like hidden things that are wrong with them that they'll put around you in order to make it so that it's like a timed testand so you'll have this weird conjunction of like all of the people you could be friends with have these like horrifying things wrong with them and then occasionally they'll put someone in your socials like area for which it's like oh that's the guy who can play concert level violin but I can't anymore because they permanently f***** up my back on on purpose and then had a 16 year old girl like make fun of me for it with her parents watching as if it was her f****** Bob mitzvah or whatever or her like concierto or whatever the f*** you would call it like they're just there's like I don't know I figured that they're just like broken inside and to them what they see is oh well we're going to train you how to kill people so that it makes you harder when you get older so that you know how to kill people when you're older which is like okayand you would want to be around this for what reason oh and the pawn shirt and the oh that's good advice that's a joke about mongo is only pawn and game of Life and so so this is this is one of these things that I should I should talk about a bit more like in any narrative that has to do with like a serialized movie there's like The a team the b team and the c team and then there's the bad guys and the AV and seen narratives are like the the main hero the secondary hero in the comic relief and so the pawn is the comic relief of the mongo is the in The game of Life from from blazing from blazing saddles and then upon is it in a in a chest narrative is like the tertiary character the headpieces are like the main pieces are like the secondary pieces are like the bishop the the night and the and the rook and then the main pieces are the king and the Queen and so that's like correlating movies to like chess to the movie f****** hackers and then there's a guy named Peter hacker who did a review of wickenstein which was this long dissertation which was incredibly boring and they like f****** with me to anyone that's written a book whose name starts with Peter and then they are more and then they like to screw with me to someone whose name is like Peter but something else funny and then like there's a Peter who was one of these guys who didn't donated all of his money to charity and he wrote a book about it and so he's a better charitable person than I am or there's a Peter that is Peter hacker but he talks about wickenstein and now you have all these weekends and WeMo cars going everywhere and so it's like okay oh and that might have to do with fight club where the guys like you can't come into the house you're too fat you're too thin you're too blonde and so and it doesn't it's annoying because when you talk about this it's just correspondence between like narrative that's like rather loose and so doesn't mean anything unless people are f****** with you to it and if you aren't being f***** with with to it it's meaningless and it just sounds like crazy to talk right so it's just it's it's teaching someone b******* by like making them sick and then f****** with them in a social system where the supply of housing is constrained and there's no other like and and it's run by like half a dozen guys like you could if you had if you put a dozen guys in a room they would control all of the shelters in the city more or less and if those doesn't guys don't like you you're totally f***** and there's nothing you can do about it and those doesn't guys they're not all the staff members right it's like some of them are staff members some of them live in the shelters some of them are sick and just of art just like homeless and have been homeless for years and because there's no like centralized authority there's no way to like figure out how to fix anything cuz it's all anarcho socialism and so anarchosocialism networks tend to exist in like like a you heard it through a grapevine type situation and then like based on like a code of ethics that has to do with karma so if you piss off one guy in some way like a year ago they're going to f*** with you like years laterso someone may have like tried to fight me in a shelter and I was spineless or I didn't I wasn't good enough to be like a Sherlock Holmes or something and so they crippled my back and then I'll have somebody play the violin concerto just to remind me of it so again all of this is like I believe there was like a philosopher that said who wrote a book that was like regal or something it was like against freedom or flight from freedom I believe it was called flight from freedom we're like freedom itself was bad in some way I don't remember I I believe they were some sort of right wingest of some sort in any case it doesn't matter I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight and I don't know what the f*** to do so more or less I'm going to have to be rescued by someone who gives a s*** about whether I die or not or I'm just going to die and most people here don't because every time I'm poisoned I just get angry and pissed off and then tell everybody how I was poisoned and I'm not going to make friends with people that I don't know aren't poisoning meso there's an incredibly high bar for like admittedly helping me and I just don't trust anyone to do it and like it's no one's responsibility so I'm just going to die and I just have to like make peace with the fact that there's just no reason to live here I mean I'm going to die like slowly cuz I don't want to like it's painful and awful but like I don't have any capacity not to die because I just I don't I don't want to be I don't want to be poisoned in a homeless shelter so I'm going to die of disease on a street cornerthey're just awful I don't know what else to say there's like if you come here you'll be sick and to death until you find the secret where you have to sleep on the street and eat the right food and meet the right person in the right way that the right time or something it's just all b******* there's nothing you can do so I'm being a cultural critic to what people put on their t-shirts one of the things that you can do okay so here's the thing I am being screwed with and every time I write about how I'm being f***** with somebody gives money to whoever is making the t-shirts of the people who are f****** with me and they do it by a Kickstarter or via indiegogo because that's the way that I would that's the out that I have right like if if someone is going to if someone is going to so if somebody's going to like try and leave the city and everyone screwing with themand so they're trying to raise money so that they they can escape and their parents and their family won't help them so what do they do they make t-shirts they do something they do an art project it goes on indiegogo okay and then people buy the t-shirts and they surround the next guy who wants to do the same thing because that way you don't have people attempting to escape or leave in the same way you have some sort of creative effort by the guy trying to escape or he resolves he resorts to violence because these people are bored I mean that's the main thing is they're bored because they're evil one of the things with evil is that you're stupid and dangerous and so you're bored because no one wants anything to do with stupid and dangerous and they won't play with you right so when the last guy escaped by giving everyone a cool t-shirt they found it what people would do is just make cool t-shirt and then all these guys are like wait a minute no one wants to be around us and they keep giving us cool t-shirts what the f*** are we going to do with this s***that's in the news around the guy with cool t-shirts that wants to go on indiegogo and make a website or sell something and they complain about something like again and again and again like Kierkegaard and it's because people just like keep saying wow everyone here is like complete s*** I don't want anything to do with them and they're so awful I don't want anything to do with them and they'll just want to leave no matter what no matter how sick you make them because they're just so f****** awful and so you have these douchebags dressing up like idiots surrounding you with like slogans for which they don't give a s*** about but like they'll have a protect trans rights thing but it's in it's in black and white but like it's black and in the text is white and then one of the guys in the shelter taking up a bed is like transgendered but like really old and f***** up and he's just clearly insane so he's he's not transgender he's just f****** around for a bed to screw with somebody cuz somebody give him a money or maybe he's just crazy and so it's a joke like it doesn't you mentioned this then they give money to like you see how this works like it doesn't and the entire time someone's just like like I just like I come away from there and at the corner of 21st and mission is a burnt-out bank it's like it's a burnt-out Chase Bank and it's because they spend their time doing this s*** rather than anything else and then no one wants to do anything with them and it's like well I guess there's s*** then and so I'm just like it's not so I just sit on a street corner and wait to die cuz I can't raise the money cuz the last time that someone did this they just sold t-shirts online until they they were able to leave and it's just like I'm fond of the slogan again and again and again because it just talks about how much people dislike them it's like it keeps happening again and again and again and we don't know why everyone wants to leave and they hate it so much it's like yeah no f****** s*** you're sick and you make people f***** up and sick on purpose and so it's just it's like codependency disorder and sick and then the next guy that's listening in on what I'm having to say which will like tune their earbuds into what I'm saying we'll get upset because they're like wait a minute he's talking about me now and it's like yeah of course I am but like I'm filled with disease now and I don't know what it is and all I want to do is leave and then eventually like eat good food and then take the pills the AI makes to u***** my body if possibleI'm just going to like it sick so I don't they just want me to do like they just want me to steal so that they can say I'm not a good person and then have the s*** beaten out of me and then the game is over because we broke the again and again and again thing see he went to jail for stealing a loaf of bread after we after all of this documentation of f****** with the guy some woman just went by licking your lips acting stupid the other thing is is if you talk long enough and your body is f***** up so that you're like dehydrated and you have all these like weird body problems your spit will start to froth like you have mad dog disease and it's because it's because it's some sort of like combination of illnesses that like do that but it's not rabies it's just it's just people who are it's just some sort of comorbidity with sick from the 70s so now I have to like guzzle a gallon of water and then piss it all out I don't know it's they may have been putting dehydrates in my food like things they would like cause me to become dehydrated or it might be something else you have to understand I've eaten nothing but like packaged food because I can't trust anyone to give me non package s*** but it's all been like crackers and likethe goldfish s*** so I'll probably just go to a hospital and see if they can give me food again I don't know what to do I mean I'm just going to be followed around by crackheads and like people swinging water bottles and s***eventually I'll just die because I won't be able to sleep at all and then it's going to be like it's like it's like New York it's the city that never sleeps it's a joke but it's just crazy people who are just evil they've done this to so many people that they like give him a New Yorker bag after they f*** with them a lot enough so that you have like a bag you can wear in public that says I was already f***** with it's okay you don't have to do it anymorewhich is bizarre because I was chased around New York City with guys in like pickup trucks just like they had okay this is true by the way they had guys will pick up trucks that had funnels coming out of the bed of the pickup truck that would just spew like marijuana and they'd follow people around they didn't like and then spew marijuana at them in like December I hadn't slept in athey're so in Brooklyn there's these railroad tracks and then underneath there's a road and there's a dry out clinic in there and I figure they thought I was one of the escaped assholes from the dry out clinic and so they would go around and they chase me with these stupid pickup trucks spewing marijuana so that was fun but now I'm going to be chased around by people who are doing the New York City thing cuz I was in New York City when in 2019 I got it I don't know what happened other than I was chased around by assholes and then and then set off a gun or something or like a firecracker or something some some f****** thing anyway it doesn't matter like it's just going to be like great now what do I do cuz I don't want to be poisoned already said how I was poison at 1001 Polk Street someone died there they were spraying like diesel fuel mixed or not diesel fuel but like propane mixed with scent that you're supposed to use a carnivals like outdoors in a circus tent they were spraying that s*** in the shelter until somebody is fixated to death and that was the guy across fromthat was the same that was the same month somebody put enough amphetamines in my coffee to make me go to the FBI and then I was poisoned afterwards like and that was like the low that was like that was like the least interesting s*** that happened at 1001 Polk Street so like the last time they kicked me out this guy yelled at me and then danced back and forth in front of my bed and then said that I made a move to attack him while I was sitting on my bed which is like it was dark I couldn't see someone made a move to attack me this guy's like 6 ft 5like 300 lb you know it's just that though the the time before that I was kicked out for going into a bathroom that was on the first floor in the male's dorm but it was the wrong bathroom because it was a different floor so they just kick you out for some arbitrary reason because that's the time when they can coordinate enough people to get everybody in the shelter sick and the right way at once and then you look like the last time I was kicked out of 525 5th Street a bunch of Chinese guys wearing Astro hats and like masks on ran into the shelter and the guy at the 1050 South Van Ness is like yeah you should totally go back there it's like yeah okay and I was I was kicked out for washing my clothes after someone coughed s*** all over it and you're just walking around and everybody knows how you're being f***** with because they're participating until no one gives a s*** anymore because you've been drugged to the point where making you sick won't make them any healthier there's this trade-off between how healthy you can you're allowed to be and how interesting you're allowed to be versus like what sort of it's like okay should I drug this guy it'll make me slightly healthier but it'll look bad because he doesn't do anything wrong or or I won't drug him because somehow I'll have the s*** kicked out of me or I'll be drugged in return or if I drug the guy he's already so sick I'm not going to become any healthier by like drugging him and then having him cough on me in like a weird pattern like it doesn't make me any healthier and then when they do this mental calculus to themselves they like it's like a maximum problem between all of those variables and then there's some sort of social component where it's like well if I drug him todayit won't be as interesting as if I wait until he's healthier tomorrow and then drug him then or if I can make friends with the right people then we can drug it then we can drug him and so that's that's what their thoughts is or it's or it's we shouldn't do this because God will be angry at no point does anyone go yeah this is a moral we're just not going to do it because it's a bad thing to do so that like base level we shouldn't do bad things just because doesn't exist like it's some level they lack moral feelingsI like when you lack moral feeling you're not capable of much right like You're My philosophy has a lot of analytics to it but like at some level you do in fact feel things right like it's I mean at this point I like at that level I do agree with which consign although I do believe you can talk about your feelings but like if you feel like at some level you feel that things are right or you feel that things are wrong because they make you unhappy when you do them or when you don't from experienceand you have the ability to distinguish between having a happy experience with someone else and then like just getting incredibly drunk like most people are able to like differentiate those two those two sorts of states right and no not being that doesn't like that doesn't count if someone is like can't sleep or can't eat food right that doesn't like this isn't like a test of like let's torture someone to see to what extent that they have true true friendship it's more along the lines of these people can't distinguish between hey if we just drug and f***** with this guy it'll be fun and funny and also I'll feel good versus you should make a long-lasting relationships the other thing is is that they don't like stoics they hate they hate stoics and they hate cynics because stoics and cynics tend not to have a self-preservation function they tend to believe in themselves and at the same time they're easily confused with people who are bad people just generally because they don't have friends that can come and rescue them and so they spend the entire time bitching and complaining or they just ignore all the people around them until they're drug to death and everyone goes yeah but like did he deserve itso they don't like there's like philosophical like there's entire like there's entire avenues of philosophy that they don't understand how to react to like they don't understand like what to do about it which is somewhat bizarre because this seems to be like a thing that's been practiced for a while like at least since the 70s and probably before then like this is some epic biblical s*** where people are just f****** with each other so I don't know I'm going to probably spend the rest of my time conserving my energybecause I can't go to cuz I don't I don't know where to sleep and where to go so I'm just going to go to the library and charge my phone and then and then go to the hospital and get food and then just I don't know just try not to like spend energy I don't know mostly I'm just going to be stocked with people on stupid t-shirts and then like have people do stupid things around me until like the worst possible people decide that they want to make be my friend and then I'll just run away I don't know this is where you get like the guys the black guys with the speakers on the dollies following people around and s***so like it's one of these things where you're just going to have someone sick in the guy when he can't walk anymore and he hasn't been able to sleep for days it's like the show so I know what this is in Africa they walk down they walk down antelope they just walk them down out of exhaustion and so it's like a joke based on walking down the antelope in Africa based on like hunting without knives that's the thing my father said so that's like an African thing I knew I could come up with it somewherebut like if there's like if I'm sickened again and like a weird way and it becomes a thing I just reported to like all of the cops in the world I just write down all the countries I've been to and then like write it all down in detail it's just going to be the most unlike the most boring like I'm just going to describe it until everyone knows how it works and then you can't use it on anyone anymore I mean when you're surrounded by jackass that's about what you can do and so that's what I'm going to do it's at least usefuland then the people responsible will get in trouble or make friends with all these people they don't like because doing this to somebody is something that you don't want attention from and or maybe they do and they'll make friends with every intelligence agency in the world and they will hate themselves for the rest of their lives in any case yeah I just read it all down and then I don't know I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't sleep anym so they're following me around with dogs again what they like to do is they like to follow me around with dogs or they'll have a bunch of dogs in the same location and then have me cut off by a bicycle guy the time it so that I'm cut off by a like a car or a bicycle guy or something at the same time and see what I do and then I believe it's habituating me to hate things that Muslim people hate just to see if they can do it so I crossed the street at mission and s*** what is it it's mission andand 11th and there's a there's a woman who crosses the street who has was uncomfortable shoes on and my shoes are also uncomfortable and then they'll play with dog squeak toys and they have someone cut me off with a bicycle just as I'm walking past it's they do it when it's an open sidewalk as well and they do it specifically with intention that's the thing it's like it sounds like you're an old man yelling at clouds but you've been around this s*** long enough that you know that you're being f***** with by like intentionally in order to see if it provokes a reaction which itself even if it didn't is is enough to let you know that you're being stalked so stocking is serial killer behavior I don't care like if it like coordinated stocking is done in with people who want to like kidnapper you and more like f*** with your mind and I don't care like they seem to like want to like see if they can do it a little bit because it's like a game for them because I don't know how many people here are like rehabilitated like serial killers but I believe some of them maybe and they just want to see it's it's it's like it's craziness testing right so it's what it is is you have sick people okay who are angry that the covid thing happened and everyone had to get covid tests and so what they'll do is they do they do craziness testing where they'll f*** with you and then see what you do because it's it's the bad people have the weapons of psychiatry now as opposed to the good people which of course becomes an open question of like who is the good and who is the bad person but again these are people who have like turn the city into a ghost town and it's filled with drugs and everyone is sick and at some point like but you could say like who decides who's good or who's bad and that's true on the edge cases but when you see that everything is broken then clearly the bad people are the ones that have the weapons that are hurting each other it's like what religion is best is one of these things were like it's like who gets to decide what religion is best right but at some level you can't all you can't you can't all pray to crawl crawl the conquer who eats the who who eats people and decorates his house with bodies because no one believes he crawl the cocker and they don't want to have their house straight like they don't want to be on someone's house right like so it's one of these things where there's some sort of logic involved and it doesn't work becauseany aggregate you see that it's gone so absurd that clearly this is broken and it's like this is s*** that bothers Muslims so doesn't it bother you like you don't like it when we follow you around with speakers but we don't like dogs so we'll follow you around with dogs it's like you know you could just not follow me around with speakers playing love songs while you're sick and also not have me follow it around my dogs those two things could both happen because I don't follow people around with dogs who are speakers either so there's some sort of like false equivalence and they want to make it rhetorically they like like these people does really want to be right in a rhetorical sense by acting in every way that's wrong that you possibly can and most of it comes from just bad faith right like if you're if you're aim is to hurt the other person in a way that makes it logically consistent then you already logics your position I mean in some ways this is not against it is correct in a weird way because he doesn't he doesn't I don't believe that we can sign like I don't believe that we can sign covers bad faithbecause he needs to deterministic he's too materialistic I mean I'd have to double check but I don't think he does in any case like with bad faith you're assuming it's both raining and not raining at the same time right you're saying nonsense because you assume you assume that you're going to hurt the other person but do it in a way that proves that you're a good person and therefore the other person is bad by hiding the fact that you're operating under the assumption that you're deception won't be found out even though you're operating is a bad personand so once you see this for what it is all the other person is telling you is I'm a bad person and I don't want you to be able to say I'm a bad person and I'm going to hide that fact from you and then when you find that the person is a bad person and you show it to them they get confused because they've lost it like they don't know what to do in some ways I think it's a self deception as well because for example the Quran says that the dogs are bad so if someone if you can screw with someone so that they're going to be upset every time there are dogs around if you get through with someone so that that there's every time that there's dogs around they get they get screwed with then at some point they're going to be upset about dogs and therefore the Quran is right which is like and will do this because in America that use speaker systems and following you around with the speaker system isn't against the Quran but then again I'm picking on the garage just because he's in some of the people who are screwing with me oh and someone has been I believe that someone like is is I believe that someone is overlaying the voice recording when I I talk into this so because they managed to get like access to the to the password so I'll have to change it but again like this this method of like we're going to screw with you to this ideology to prove that this ideology in some sense what it is is you're going to hurt like you follow someone around with speakers and if they don't like that you follow them around with dogs and therefore if you're against the speakers you can't be against the dogs and if you're against the dogs you can't be against the speakers because they they have to be opposites when in fact there is a symptom of the same thing which is a stocking behavior which is which is like shows like emotional codependency mixed with violence and so going back to my philosophy they're both they're both functions of the same stuff it's not different it's like it's like a different car it's like the same car but it difficult I just don't like the car and again like then you have this thing where you take someone's preference you say that this is the thing for which we will change society to and then you blame them for what decisions they made having having spent money they may or may not have but may have been promised to them and the entire thing is a scam I seriously believe that there may be something where Elon musk is scared that he'll lose Tesla because they found out how to make plastic turn into gasoline and all of this pantomime play and all of this screwing around is just a way of like hiding the fact that that there's all this money at stake because they figured out how to turn plastic into gasoline but I'm arguing against stalking like the only thing that like the only thing I'm arguing against is the following and stocking syndrome where you like and then mixed with like mental illness and sick it's bizarre I mean I don't like if you're so mentally ill or so messed up that you have to do what people say then you either need psychotherapy or you should be going to you you should be like a convert like a serious like religion like Catholicism or Buddhism or the Quran for that matter mostly because they've been around for several thousand years and if you're that messed up in sick you should pick one that's like that they but that's been like battle tested right like they they know what they're doing it's been around for a while so if you're if you're incredibly sick you should be picking one that like they have some sort of like plan involved and how they screw with people I mean the things that I've been working on is stuff that is just like my own personal like I'm not going to say a stupid word like quest or journey or Trek or any of that stupid s*** it's my own it's my own thoughts from having trouble and if you're going to seeking me in a shelter I can't get a job and I think I'm going to die repeatedly I'm going to think about the meaning of lifeso like you know I I mean much of what I'm talking about is is stuff that's it's also like it's all analytics and none of it has anything to do with with like me being able to confront death or the birth of a child in any way that's better or worse than anyone else probably worse so like in an emotional framework sense like like we can sign like you had a beer with wickenstein he would be boring I mean it I'm not him but I think he would be just absolutely terrifyingly though and like so what I see people who are sick wandering the streets or like having this behavior mechanism where I know that it's based on on like some sort of like stalking mechanism or like some sort of like like I just when I see people when I see people wandering around with stupid clothes and like sick and and clearly unhappy and and like no one's talking to me I can only assume it's some sort of stalking behavior or mental illness like like a like a I don't know if that mass delusion is something that I don't even know if it occurs except it like concerts are like in in mobs but like I think that it might be like I don't know I mean again I can't like if you talk to any of these people they'll act normal and ignore all of the signs that something stupid is happening and then get excited for the attentionand so there's they're clearly they're clearly sick and I mean they should they should just they should they can't be happy that's the thing that's that's so frustrating is that they're doing it to themselves and I I don't like they can't be happy I don't know why they're not in therapy or like in a religious thing or like talking to other people or having friends I can't do any of that because I don't know what's going on and I'm having everyone around me like follow me in like do weird s*** all the timeand I don't know the extent to which other people are sick right like I just don't have the information and no one will tell me and so much of what I'm saying is like it sounds terrible like if I knew the truth it might sound awful and and I would I would repudiate it immediately and say I just had no idea but from what I can see and what I can observe just myself being around people who are the sick and clearly I hurt physically like I've been in the shelter and poisoned by sick people so I don't know how bad it islike I don't know the degree to which other people are just so sick that they're doing this because they have to or because they're like they have brain damage or if it's like some bacteria but it's either mental illness or biological illness and it's I just don't have the information cuz like if you see someone walking around dressed up like a teddy bear with like a slogan on their t-shirt and then like pants on but no ass on but like walking around in like confused or angry looking or like everyone around you has a pugso do you like some sort of stocking behavior based on my phone or like somebody is sick and and what do you do like I don't I wish I knew what to do I just have a hard time trusting people that I don't know that I don't know that if they're sick or mentally ill or what and I don't know that they know what they're doing I've never felt like this before I've always felt like more or less people always have their s*** together at least to the point where they like had a plan doing what they wanted and right now I can't do that because like everyone around me is sick and the shelters are run by like a dozen guys who are all like sick and so they kick me out of the shelter cuz like I don't want to be poisoned and there's no housing I don't there's nothing I can do right like I can't physically fight someone I mean I can't I'll lose but you come to the city of San Francisco and it's just caveman rules it's like you don't have any resources or you don't know anyone you don't know the thing that the weirdest thing is is that if you don't know anyone and you don't have an into the city you don't know who's sick and who's not right like you need to know someone so that you can be introduced to so they can introduce you to their friends and then their friends can introduce you to their friends and then you can find all the people who aren't sick cuz if you just meet and talk to people you have no idea interesting this is the second time today for which I said a joke or I said something sarcastic for which for which afterwards I believe that the answer was predetermined so this may be a sickness involved with not having a sense of humor or being like screw with in my sleep not to not having a sense of humor but I haven't slept and I'm thinking back to what I've eaten today I may have been sick wiped on the keyboards see what did I eat I know what it is it was the granola bars at the it was the granola bars at the hospital which so it was a granola bars and it was orange juice and it was Shasta so now that now I have to worry about what I eat and and what I don't it's just incredibly frustrating. anyway im being screwed with by every psychological illness that someone thinks they can induce in others through sickness stalking and deprivation. its incredibly dimb becasue it doesnt prove anything of any value whatsoever otjer than that with sifficient torture you can make someone do just about anything you want provided you throw enough time money and resources at the problem. disease and repeated exposure to disease vectors helps. again it doesnt say anything about morality other than its a matter of a popularity contest if someone is going to have you killed in teh city which i cant become popular inder those circumstances i just become angry and unhappy . call it a personal defect. some people make friends i guess? the next one is "clippy" so every time youre not in front of your phone youll poison someone or stalk them until they use their phoen allthe time then you steal the phone and make them become fucked up to the point where they ovsess over what their hair looks like because its funny like the microsoft office mascot. it follows the general pattern of bait and switch which is how many of the sick feel about porn because theyre ill or masturbation (many of them are weirded it about this to the point where theyll monitor the bathrooms or have you poisoned). also poisnig someones hands. theyre all psychotic and evil and its a plague zone unfortunate though it may be. its masturbation why would this bother you? i dont know but it freaks them out and i dont know why. again its incredibly difficult to differentiate the psychotic and the people playing at psychoticism or who are just sick soemhow. i was in a building thos morning waiting for the city to open up and a falun gong member and several sock people were upset that o dodnt masturbate as rhos may have meant they would have beenficial sick coughed on them by the religious. a falun gong member blew his nose. the whole thing is depressing and sad. similar to being poisoned if you eat or sleep on the wrong place. mental illness and paychoticism. i desperately want to be teated for what i have by competent doctors. oh the paperclip could have ben "clipsforsale" a porn site at which point my phone would have been hijacked to put a picture of me orgasming on the internet. which is gross and annoying but would it really bother me more than being stalked in the street and poisoned in my sleep? looking around me ill probably have hand and back disease soon that will permanently cripple me so i cant do anything. the guy next to me cant type and his back is broken. his hands are completely inflamed so they wont recover.its just sick and i dont know how to leave or get out of the sickness circle.so I went to the hospital mostly so that I could get crackers I had the doctor check out my feet in my hands and then all of a sudden I come out of there feeling high and if I say anything it's like peace or else and they already set up some sort of like else statement and I believe that else statement is I'm working on it and then whatever it is is going to be bad so I take it they're just like going to go through the website that I've made and then f*** it up cuz of course what I'm going to do is assume the worstso here's what it is here's what I know and I just I can't I can't not do it I think part of it is is that if you tell me a secret and then tell me not to say anything I won't care except if you poison me and then I do care also no wait I don't care I'm going to say it anyway so I went to the bathroom and someone poisoned my belongings so that I feel high when I touch stuff and again like I was in the library in like a guy wearing like a like a Jesus outfit I don't know he was he had his head shaved like a monk and then he had and then he was like pantomiming fighting a pillarwhich is like fighting salt like the pillar of salt anyway I was anyway I was I was made high by someone putting it like sick all over my belongings when I went into the into the into the restroom cuz that's the only thing it could be or the food that I was given or the food that I was given by one of the nurses had sick all over it where he says like stay safe which is like well you're f***** cuz I just gave you a bunch of food that has like fentanyl on it or something anyway they had a guy come in with like a puma t-shirt on with like bare arms which is like the right to bear arms and like nodded a nurseso I don't know what that means but it's going to be something terrible and I was just poison so you you set up the condition for which you'll poison someone or like you threaten to poison someone by saying something stupid then you poison someone and then if they say anything then they're not peaceful so you'll do the terrible thing which is like I went in there because I didn't have enough food to eat and also because my hands are cramping up and the doctors let your hands are fine and they gave me food which had drugs on itbut you know the guy says I'm working on it and he has a backwards like mushroom hat from like Nintendo on it and so I figured the websites just f***** and someone's going to go through the website and screw it up and like put in all sorts of terrible things in here or do something like just scrap the websites like the one thing I was caring about but it's like okay well I'm being poisoned so I don't know why I give a s***or they'll make like the best website ever and then put it on Kickstarter because they can just pull it out of their assand then they do the thing for which I wanted money to leave because I don't want to be giving fentanyl laced food in a hospital where some guy like nods in a nurse like yeah you can totally like drug people you don't like it's like yeah I guess but then I'm going to b**** about it you could just like also like have people who are like don't have a place to stay in or hungry just go like hey do you want a sandwich okay well it's an emergency room but here's a sandwich so oh in Frisco I always wondered why this one woman there was this one woman at the Mayflower inn who was like went who became sick and kept asking like what what what Frisco meant when I like she had a bowl of candy and I would go there for maps and candy and she asked what Frisco meantFrisco means like it's a frisk and then an o like it's a transgender person cuz you can only tell after you first come and then you go oh that's frisk f r i s k like a cop so that's that's Frisco but it's just stupid right like you'll see the one I'll see the t-shirt that was the negative of it which was like you know transgender rights but like in a photographic negative like it's scary with a knife and then and then the other one is like then it's Frisco in colors and like one is the one thing for which the other is the colorand it's like I don't you know I just I don't give a s*** if someone is like a bad person and they're and they're like transgender I just don't care it just doesn't it doesn't I don't care right I just don't want to go into an emergency room and be poisoned you know what I mean like you have the right to bear arms okay that's cool it's funny and then I get drugged because I wanted a sandwich so if you go to Sutter health Van Ness they wiped fentanyl on my sandwich or like on my on my the food they gave mewhich is like I've had 2,000 calories today barely maybe of which it was almost all saltine crackers and like like fish things and then they'll do stupid s*** like they'll throw up they'll throw like an emergency room bracelet on the ground and black and white like a finish line like you finished it you found out their assholes it's like dude I do I do that already and then they'll do the next one it's like well I'm working on it and then they're going to like either steal my phone or they're going to hijack my website and then it'll be a black and white banner like a racing thing it'll be like ha we've gotten you we've we've gotten rid of your website and this piece or else s*** it's like well I'm just going to keep saying it until you you just like tell me all the things for what you want everyone else to know like do you want to go into an emergency room and then because you poison people you can't get drugs or food like what the f*** is wrong with you you don't even like if you go to an emergency room don't you have some sort of expectation that the doctors are going to cure you and that anyone that's like anyone that's asking any nurse that's asking you to give them poisons to poison people they don't like is a bad person and you shouldn't go to that emergency room and you shouldn't deal with that nurse because if you have a broken leg okay look I was at the other emergency room which was Saint Francis the other night to get sandwiches and they did this s*** where they just stood around and they talked about all the people they saved and how horrific it is when someone dies and all this sort of happy horseshit and their facilities look like s*** and then I go to the the fancy one it said her healthy facilities and then my sandwiches poisoned so that's cool I mean it's neat and all right I guess it it's it's a passion played out overover like 2 days where I don't sleep and my feet are broken and blistered but and it's supposed to tell me like it's supposed to be this Passion Play where it's like see if you have bad facilities but good people then it's okay but if you have good facilities and bad people they might poison your food and then you poison me it's this f***** up thing where they want to teach me something with drugs and it's and it's done over it's done with like you know 30 people the whole thing is a gas lighting experiment of which I got a half dozen granola barsand some Scooby-Doo snacks and some crackers and it's like I already knew that I've been to every hospital in the city what's your point I know the shiny thing isn't always the best thing and then I say this and then they'll steal my phone and give me a pad of paper and say see now you have a pad of paper isn't it nice you you found the secret but you told everyone and now the shiny thing is is the thing that you want but you can't have because the shiny thing before was the thing we poisoned you to and so now you can't have rightso it's just a it's just a it's just like and then they'll like or they'll or they'll f****** the website and it'll be like yeah see the shiny thing doesn't work anymore and so therefore because you like the shiny thing before it was bad now you want the shiny thing and it's good but you can't have it so it's a bait and switch again and I just I've now seen the Passion Play dumb f*** game I mean to give you an example of how stupid this is I was walking in Bear and bleeding feet all night until I go to St Anthony'sI mean St Francis of which they give me shoes and I get half dozen granola bars and a Shasta Coke or she has to soda and an orange drink so it's like a screwdriver but funny because it's it's like a screwdriver except instead of vodka it has nature valley granola bars so it's like being screwed while you walk through the shadow of death it's it's a joke and then when I go to the other when I go to the other hospital because I'm all f***** up they give me food that makes me sick cuz it has fentanyl on itand there's a Chinese guy there who's all freaked out cuz his body is betraying him because he's sick and he might be even more f***** up than me and I don't know if my body is going to fall apart to the point where like it gets that bad like I don't know if I'm going to get this s*** we're like this s*** on my hands and feet gets to the point where like it's everywhere and then I just like my my bones and my joints I'll rub together and I pop everywhere and I just fall apart but there's a black and white there's a black and white armband on the ground that's like from a rave or something they threw on the ground and so I'm screwed when I'm going through the shadow of death because there's nothing that can be done to save me while I find out that the good the good people that save lives are at the bad hospital and the bad people that f*** people over are at the good hospital and everyone thinks this is hilarious and they actively encourage this s*** by giving them drugs and sick to hurt each other so like if someone gets shot which hospital do they go to cuz one has the facilities and the people and one has the people and not the facilities or vice versa you know what I'm saying and this is the two hospitals that are in the tenderloinso that's cool I mean if I'm going to read too much into food that I just assumed that I'm going to die if I'm going to read too much into the Chinese guy being f***** up then I don't know if I'm going to ever get that f***** up if I'm going to read too much into like peace or else then I don't know what working on it means because it could be like from Heidegger and it could be like from it and so it could just mean that I'm totally f*****I mean if somebody wants to pull all the pictures from the great gay pride parade where I'm dressed up like a f****** baby you're like a moron I don't give a s*** just publish that s*** in the tender line at this point it just doesn't bother me what bothers me is that I don't want to die and every time someone does like if someone is someone didn't poison me and then acted stupid around me but it was like I don't you know what I don't know I f****** no clue I just yell into my phone cuz I don't have anyone to talk to because I just had Scooby snacks and a f****** off-brand soda and I was high for an hour which is like I don't want that s*** and then all I'm going to do is the whole time is so like after that happens you know what I do I just I just like if I if I kept that under my hat I could use it for leverage because it could I could like somehow use it in the future till it get something or like bend someone's arm to do the thing I want but the only thing I can think of the whole the whole time or like prove that I'm cool enough to keep a secret but the only thing I can think of the entire time is like how long do I have to keep this stupid secret before I just tell somebody or tell everybody how long is it going to be is it going to be a week is it going to be a month is it going to be like 2 weeks and 3 days and and then I'm going to meetmeet the nurse at poisoned my my f****** food on the street and then like have to interact with them socially like everything is normal like what the f*** am I supposed to do right like someone poisons you they indicate they know they've done it they they like they like have set up a condition for which they're going to f*** you over if you say anything and then you're supposed to interact with anyone like any of the people around you but see then it's like religion right because now this guy is going to is going to go try and f****** over somehow cuz I said something so it's either peaceso this is like weekends anyway like you have whatever you can't say you have to pass over and it's because someone will just f*** you over essentially I mean I mentioned this before is it just blackmail in advance but I haven't slept in like 2 days now and I I'm all I can think about now is like what what am I going to do like I can't that's all I can think about now and I just went there so that I had crackers I ate like 500 calories and crackers and that was dinner and then half those crackers had fentanyl on itlike if I was stealing s*** like if I was like going out of my way to like f****** like I don't know maybe if I was just like stealing like like if I was hot wiring cars maybe maybe someone would just give me money because it would be cool but if I but if I get the crackers out of a out of a f****** like I'm 150 lbs and and like I'm like when I pee it burns and I'm like 20 pounds under weight I don't like I don't like I've lost 10 lb in the last 2 weeks or like week which for me isn't normal because I haven't I don't weigh anything like I don'tI mean it doesn't sound like I'm underweight but it it sure as f*** feels like it it hurts so like I don't I don't know man like I just and I talk to like and this was interacting with people where I talk to a couple people for like 5 minutes and I was cordial and I go when I get up to take a piss and they wake up fentanyl all over my bag and s***and I don't like I don't want I don't want anyone to be like hurt or anything I just don't want to be sickened anymore right like I want to place like again like it's like what the f*** is it going to take where I can just eat food sleep and then get a job and not be poisoned to death by assholes like like is that s*** even possible here like I can't like if someone is a dick and their dressed as a woman I just don't care at this point like that's so low on my priority list of s*** that I have to give a f*** about I just don't give a s*** you know what I mean like who gives a f*** cuz I don't like is that worth poisoning crackers over right like like for what like I'm an incredibly liberal person when I'm not like starving and I have a place to live and I'm an incredibly conservative person when I'm starving and I don't have a place to live as I imagine most people would beI criticize The pride for flags over the abandoned buildings cuz the priorities are all f***** up but all of a sudden now I'm telling people like my preferences and it's going to get me killed because someone's going to poison crackers and and you know it's like well I just like I was poisoned in my sleep and kicked out for washing bed sheets and then I was poisoned cuz I ate crackers like they're not I don't have anything to trade for crackers and I'm starving I'm hungry like I went to different hospitals to get crackers today so that I had enough to eat and then I went to the salvation army for crackers or like chips or something like I'm not like I just don't like I don't see the point I wish I had someone to talk to that was rational here where they would go yeah I know it's f***** up isn't itand my parents are space cadets and say that like I have a problem and it's in my head and everyone here is sick to the point where like everyone f****** hates me because it's this piece or else s*** it's like yeah well I don't believe in that and if you poison me I tell you like I do the or else every time so it's just torturing someone it's just a way to torture people so whatever religious b******* this is is the way to hurt people and it's like it's like religious nut job violence feel like high noon high noon is where you give someone like ass cancer or something and then they die of that but that's like before the peace or elsebut like in that case you have someone who's like mature enough to be told that they that they're going to die at some point and that everybody knows when that is and then peace or else is like when someone's too irresponsible for that s*** and so you just like f*** with them until they like say peace and then and then they're left with whatever you've left let them have after you f*** them over but they still have ass cancer or chest cancer whatever the f*** you know like however you poison themI don't know what 45 is but it comes after 23 so there's like 44 and 22 and 45 but like it's like okay well that's the that's the like I heard these women walking down the street and someone's like well I have to leave at 12:00 and someone else said well I guess it's better than two or three and then looked at me as I walk past so they base this s*** on time which is stupid as f***because it's like being as dumb as a watch and then the watch is like you're watching what other people do and reporting on it but if you do that it's like time and so if you're a watchdogbut you're not a person you're like a dog like a d a w g or that means that you just poisoned someone repeatedly we're a dog is like someone that loves everybody and is like up up everybody's s*** all the time and it's like well if you poison someone repeatedly yeah that's what they're going to do because they're freaked out all the time and then you surround people with dogs and you like if they pet the dog they must not be the dogs so you see if they're worried about dogs and if they think dogs are funny or cool then they've like gotten over their trauma about dogsthe entire culture's bad s*** f****** crazy but then there's other s*** where it's like a cat is someone that keep secrets but is schizo and like does s*** in secret it'll f*** things up but they're like still f***** up I don't know like I don't like none of this s*** is entertaining at all I don't know if like people like this s*** or think it's awesome or if it's just like well f*** it this is what we've got this is what it is cuz for me this s*** is f****** awful like I you know I'm the opposite of all of this s*** like I'm likeI don't know if it's every a****** that's ever hated a dweeb getting excited because all the only jobs that are going to be left are like building s*** with like hammers because AI is going to destroy all the jobs somebody went by with a Spiro t-shirt and then a suspiro cafe t-shirt and then another one was the the other t-shirt was the f*** what was it it all the hard times t-shirt but in red but at hard times Cafe t-shirt like hard times make hard men and Good times make philosophers or programmers or somethingbut like it's like the Chinese phrasing thing but like so sphero is over so the dancing is done so everybody running around in a circle is over with and now we're going to go back to hard times or something and then the next t-shirt it's going to be some other Cafe of something crazy or some b******* I don't know I just get tired of the stocking you're going to stalk me all day after I have like after I can't sleep and then if I say that if I say the thing about how I was poisoned with fentanyl then it's my faultbut of course I'm going to say the thing is just a matter of like how long it's going to take me to be upset about it cuz after I've said the thing it's like confession that's what it is if he confesses then he must be Christian and then it's the pillar of salt joke and then we'll f*** him up so is back in his hands are f***** up and poison them in the shelter again Christian but it's like it's like the thing it's like he's acting he's acting like a goody two shoes he's acting like a good guy he's not keeping secrets therefore we'll poison him to the pillar of salt s*** if only we could make him high and then he wouldn't say anything then we would stop poisoning him to the pillar of salt s*** and then his hands and and then his hands in his body wouldn't be f***** up it's like if we could only assault the guy a little bit and then the amount of times that we can assault him is the amount of how cool he is and if he keeps complaining he'll end up crippled well is relatives in his friends call him crazy like I don't want to like like I don't want anything out of this that's the thing I just don't want to die and I don't want to be sickened anymore and I want to be able to like go somewhere where I can do a job and go home and fall asleep and know that when I wake up someone won't have poisoned me and and then I can go and make a sandwich and I can know that there's no fentanyl on it and then I can take a shower and I won't be breathing in drugs and then I can put clothes on did someone has in poisoned and then at some point I might be able to read a book but like it's just like everything here is Poison every it all of it and I keep complaining about poison and then they poison me some more it's like why don't you stop complaining it's like well every time you poison me I'm going to say something so like I just want to leave but I don't have the resources and I'm too f***** up in my family members are crazy so like all I do is I sit here dying and I say well they poison me again and then you're like okay well what about it but that's the culture here it's like well we can't kill you so we'll give you we'll give you cancer will give you well f*** you up so that you have something that's like a terminal illness or what we'll do is the peace or else s*** in which case we'll just make you sick repeatedly so that you have to do drugsor we'll just make your life worse according to a downward spiral no matter how good you are no matter how many times you're like I don't want to participate in this they'll find a reason that will mean that you're a bad person and I just like I've lost all interest in vice or like like if I saw a gangster movie at this point I would just change it to the Discovery channel like if I if I want to watch the space channel I want to watch s*** about rockets I completely understand Elon musk I didn't think I would ever say that I think he's I think he's crazyhe had a company here and then he's like f*** it I don't want to do this I'm going to make rockets and he left I don't like I think he's probably just doing it so that he can save his Tesla company I don't know I just I don't I don't I'm talking about someone I don't know but like I don't want to know any of these people either I just I want to oh f****** man there's nothing here that I want that's the weird part like that there's nothing here that I just I don't I don't want to be in physical pain and I want enough money to leave and I don't want to like I don't want to participate in crime or prostitution or it's like these are all things I value because they show a free society but not to the extent that it destroys everything else I just I don't know man there's just nothing here that I wanted all like I don't want to talk to anybody I don't want to touch anything I don't I don't find any of it exciting or interesting at all and I don't I don't like I don't know I don't know how to leave I don't like if you're not in the sheltersI don't know man if you're not in the shelters like then you can't get a place to live cuz they control the housing stock and I don't want to wander around the streets and then like hustle to make money cuz I don't know how then I'm f***** up and sick someone just went by and said it was a game massacre or something I'm like okay I don't know what that means I mean a transgender person sat next to me in the ER and then my things were poisoned so maybe that was a joke I don't I don't know I just I don'tI want to have enough brain cells left over that I can read philosophy and not hate myself like be able to understand it none of this s*** is just means anything to me I mean if someone's going to make me high against my will I'm just going to be like I have no idea what's going on fire trucks are going everywhere I don't know if they did that to like calm all the people down or because like somebody died or like someone was sick there's almost never a fire I just man you have no idea like I a place to sleep food to eat a job not being sickI don't know that there's anything else that matters like I don't like I just don't give a s*** about but if I can't have that like if you can't sleep then no I don't know so they just had like a high class prostitute walk by or someone like who is incredibly beautiful and then all these people got excited and they had the fire trucks go by probably to break everybody up and then someone says stiff huh because instead of a stiffy it's a stiff because I'm stiff all over and I have some sort of illness for which it's untreated but like they know what it is and I was followed on the way to the emergency room with people going up and like yelling hot at me that's hot as an h u h in any casein any case someone does the thing where he pulls his pants up like pull-ups but like if I followed her it would be like diapers because it's like the avdl thing so it's peace or religion except the religion is stupid and then a bunch of people start going by coughing and grunting and then another bunch of people go by talking about how much money that some person has and they have this beautiful apartment and it's wonderful and so there's some sort of laundered Bitcoin based on whether I'll say something or not and then that money would have like come out of like something that may or may not have helped me so it's piece of religion except you'll poison me with fentanyl and then you'll make it so that you know that my body is f***** up so the my body is stiffening and I don't know why and the people do and then there will be a bunch of people go by grunting and coughing but beforehand there was a bracelet on the ground that was black and white with checkers on it and so my entire body is stiffening up and then I'll probably die of cardiac arrest or like have it so that I die of like a stiffening disease where I like get rigor mortis but slowly over time and that's a disease that's in the tenderloin apparently but someone else gets pulled up right because they get pulled away from all of this and there was a big circle around this beautiful woman that was probably a prostitute of all these people that were likecircling her to make sure that no one went near her and then just to make sure their neighbor didn't and then everybody got excited and then a fire truck couple fire trucks went by to put like break it all up like three fire full on fire trucks and then someone went by and said oh it's your stiff huh but it's not as stiffy it's a stiff huh because I've been repeatedly poisoned in the shelters so that so because I've been repeatedly poisoned in the shelters so that I don't masturbate and then there's like this woman that'll be likepulled up into like one of the Tower apartments that's going to be wonderful and people go around talking about all the beautiful things that she's going to have and then other people go buy grunting at you and coughing and so it's you know it's peace or else like piece of religion and again like I jerk off to fantasy it's like it's like if you took someone who had a like a medieval night costume and then walk them past me because I read the Canterbury Tales it just doesn't make any sense like if I wanted someone to have sex with it's like it's like if someone wants to play basketball and you watch the NBA that doesn't mean that you want to be friends with an NBA player it means that you occasionally want to play basketball with a friend I don't know how to I don't know how to explain like the birds and the bees to people like I don't I don't care if someone is a 10 out of 10 and they're beautiful if they're surrounded by crazy people and they're probably boringso like you know it's just like oh we found this stupid thing to make fun of you for that's going to trigger you in a dumb way God I hate that word trigger and then like you're going to you're going to see if you can't like make someone upset about how they have a disease which you gave them because they jerk off too much like again like all I did was complain about pornographybecause that's the only vice that I have that's like like what I'm lazy I don't know I just I don't I don't f****** know man like but of course I'm going to say it like it's just the same it's the same stupid s*** where it's like you poisoned me in a hospital like like you poison me in a f****** hospital I haven't slept in 2 days now and then you play the like diapers or pull-ups game and it's like I just I don't f****** care but I'm going to say something because I know that I'm going to be poisoned later and that's all I can think about and so I'll be like they're going to giveso this is how this s*** is going to work what they do is they buy a bunch of toys they represent all of like the things that the person has in their bedroom and then I'll go around like the city being drugged and then they'll throw the toys out in front of me like oh we bought her a bed and then they'll throw like a toy bed on the ground on the street somewhere or oh we bought her a dresser and then I'll do that so it's like it's essentially like taking a bet that you can like that you can like laundry Bitcoin and then harassing someone and then saying that they liked it and that therefore you can launder the Bitcoin or something but what it is is just torturing someone repeatedly cuz I never signed up for this and I never said any of it was okay ever for any reason and then everybody coughs in grunts and gets all upset and it's like yeah someone's thinking of bed on how how they can murder me and I'm just going to always go with I'm going to write down what the bed is and then it stops being interestingso I mean there's two ways to go about this right like I could go through my entire life waving a peace sign around for which I would never be forgiven and I would be f***** with by a circle of bastards for the rest of my life or I could say what everyone is thinking and just write it all down but like in no way is there anything where they're like we're going to stop this now and not do it to you because I have been poisoned repeatedly over the over like I've been poisoned repeatedly like last night I was just poisoned at the show I was poisoned at the shelter last night or not last night cuz I didn't sleep but like the night beforeand then I was freezing today just now with fentanyl so like and then you're going to make fun of me and it's like okay well this is how this works like what do you like what what am I supposed to do like just like oh I'm going to I'm going to just be like anyways just like it's like a one-liner after I've been poisoned and then the guy who says it gets money for him and his friends get money because of you know it's like okay well I can't prevent any of that but it's just torturing someone for a bet and then having themwhy don't you just I mean is it it's again it's going back to s***** people being boring and they have to have some sort of form of entertainment and they can't do it right that's the thing that's annoying why can't they just like launder money right it's like teaching people how to like do the thing for which they're s***** at when you don't even care it's like just just you know if you want to launder money do it like everyone else does and open a motorcycle shop and sell one motorcycle every day or like every month and then say you've sold a dozen or open it f****** like there's so many ways to launder moneyjust stupid amounts of money I mean there's no other reason that like all the buildings are empty but they all sell like art it's like they they want to stay like want a loner money it's like okay well then just launder it but leave me alone like how f****** hard is that why can't I have a place to stay where I'm not going to be sickened on and on purpose and some sort of like like Passion Play for idiots like okay I like weird p*** and it's annoying but like I spent all of today working on Wittgenstein when I wasn't sleep deprived or complaining about being f***** with oryou know like what am I going to do go to the crooked cop shop and and file another police report I mean at least now they're not doing black f****** like like before when I they did like the Black Sabbath s*** that was cool cuz I watched someone almost die or gets sent to the hospital it was like a little lady I don't I don't want to do any of this s*** it's annoying she would be fun to look at for 5 minutes and after 10 minutes I'd go damn what's the time I finished my drink can I go to bed nowI've been up for 2 days I want a place to sleep where I'm not going to be poisoned I don't give a s*** what her ass looks like who gives a f*** I don't I'm annoyed that someone thought it was cool to have a one-liner that like my entire body is f***** up now and I don't know why or how to fix it if there were doctors in the city that were worth s*** I could ask them but there aren't you going to ask an emergency room doctor like why is my body stiff all over I feel like I'm dying they'll be like oh well are you on drugs no do you have a psychiatric illness no have you considered Pilates so like I don't I don't I don't see the point of any of this oh and my social media account is now Boot like doing stupid s*** about Elon musk and it's like yeah I know like there's a there's a f****** there's a gas thing there's a there's a chemical that will change plastic into gasoline and it's going to f****** this company and everyone hates you on musk and maybe that's a thing I don't know I just passed people talking about La again because it's like he's not doing the thing we want and therefore he's going back to a movie everybody Play the movie nowhe's not doing the decision tree of b******* again everybody go back to pretending it's a movie or that we're going to f*** him over to a movie or a narrative it's La it's like the City of Angels but he's not an angel because he doesn't believe in Christianity this is crazy mind f*** b******* but it's only a pull-up if it's I only get pulled up I only get pulled up if I don't die per if I die per that means that I I die to self of like a cat and I see the I see the connection and things like a schizoand so then then it a lot then then I then I'm qualifying for being for being like my father compares it to the kinder spielt or child's Play right only when I've only what I've stopped only when I've stopped commenting on how it's how I'm being f***** with is it like peace or else and then it's peace and then and then I get whatever is left over and whatever is left over is going to be b******* because I've been f***** over so many times and all I want is to be left alone to not hurt anymore and anyone involved in this I want in prisonlike anyone anyone that's that set this up I just want them in jail I want a normal life and not to hurt and not like millions of dollars and then I want the person who set this up to be in jail and we all know what a normal life is I'm not going to play that what's a normal life game this is this is f***** up anyway I'm going to go call my parents and tell them how what all the things that happened and you know think they continue to say I'm crazy and I'll just say well remember that time you told me it was kindersfield they did the kindersfield thing againand then they're going to wear Chucky shirts around me with blood all over it of course I don't have a place to live and it was a prostitute I was supposed to f*** after not sleeping for 2 days but I don't want to do that so and then they have an ambulance go by with somebody in the back of it and a douchebag with a reaper shirt walks in front of me so now it's like oh you don't you don't care about yourself so then we're going to see if we can't hurt other people and see if you can't you don't care about other people now and it's just hostage taking the if then else statement was already baked into the cake and you said oh if you don't if you write then we're going to hurt somebody it's like okay well then you're an a****** I can say whatever the f*** I want and then if you bug the phones or you take bets or like you you do a one-liner at me that's supposed to be funny and then I can't b**** about it on the internet without you like coordinating that someone's going to get sick and then you're going to know about it and we're stupid t-shirt about it you've already determined that you're like you can't have free speech because if you have free speech I'm going to kill somebody or you're so good at coordinating the stupid reaper T-shirt with wherever that guy is that it's just a coincidencewhich for all I know it is but on the off chance it isn't and I'm being f***** with it's like well yeah and what if somebody write something in the newspaper you don't like what are you going to go tell the newspaper editor that you're going to kill people cuz the guy who wrote your the story wrote something you didn't like are you going to tell a reporter for the chronicle that you don't like his take on the mayor and so you're going to go kill his kids and if your answer is no of course not then you're a classist because of course you're doing that s*** to the poor peopleand these are the same douchebags that it hold the poor people up as as like no different than the rich people answer the whole thing just smacks of stupid and I'm just so f****** tired of itnow I'm off to go get my hoodie from the shelter where I forgot it at when they hustled me out and then if the guy dies it makes me look like I'm the grim reaper cuz I'm wearing a hoodie that I haven't been able to get rid of forever because they gave me this the lastized hoodie that keeps the window out and it's just useful and so then it's like my bitching managed to kill somebody and therefore it's funny because it's like a puma and the right to bear arms where I'm like a puma or a cat or some f****** thing and the entire thing is stupid and awful because I was poisoned in a shelter I was poisoned at the hospital by somebody drugging the f****** food they gave me and then I was f***** with it's like why don't you just not do that don't take somebody you don't like and drug my food and then and then f*** with me to see if I do something stupid that get some killedall right let's all say for a moment like just a moment right that yeah possibly maybe kind of sort of some drugs may possibly make it so that in certain conditions people are psychic let's just like postulate that let's just say it's possible so giving someone some drug that makes it so they're psychic and then f****** with him until he says the stupid thing which is going to get the other guy killed just to see if he'll do it as a morality test repeatedly is obnoxious I just wanted 2,000 calories todayI don't know what the drug was I don't know if it's something I touched I just don't want my spine to be f***** up or my hands and body to go stiff and get rigor mortis I don't want to play I don't want to play the grim reaper I don't want to involve myself with like oh look it's like he's a monster and then you get to have monster Powers but you just get to f*** over people who are like worse off than you I don't want to do all that s*** I want to build something that matters I want to make people happyI want to build a product that people would care about for a couple years I want to work on something that matters like I just just if I can't do that I just want to leave read a book and be left alone do you have any idea what it's like not to be able to sit down and read a book and be left alone somewhere where you're not cold and hurting and you don't have the like there are no jobs because everyone's f****** with each other like the easiest way to deal with a douche canoe that you want to dieit's just to beat the guy up and tell him you're not going to give him drugs anymore and then he wanders off and he doesn't have a supply I mean how hard is that if someone's an a****** because of drugs just don't give him the drugs anymore cut them off they'll stop being an a****** or I'll find another dealer I mean I don't I just don't understand like the the politics involved because to me all of this s*** seems simplistic but I don't want to have anything to do with it because I don't want to have to deal with any of the drama and the b******* and the hurtingcuz to me all of this is is hurting it's just continual hurting because everybody is on drugs and all the drugs hurt me I just don't want to deal with it I'm no good at it there's nothing I can do but b**** and then I get someone in trouble or sick and then I'm to blame so either you get to complain until someone dies or I get to say I'm not going to do anything and hope for rescue but that doesn't work because at some point I start complaining again because I keep getting poisoned by someone who's not going to let it goI mean at some point if all someone does is complain and they don't do any drugs and they're not addicted to anything they don't even touch their dick and they just want 2000 calories they want a bed they want to read a book they want clean clothes and that's about it what what like what are you supposed to do like how are you supposed to qualify yourself as like I'm good enough at this point that like I'm an ass because you keep poisoning me if you would stop that I could just be left alone and not be in painlike what right cuz right now I'm the most obnoxious person on the planet cuz I keep being f****** poison like I don't I just don't understand here's more mind f*** b******* games that have been played with me in three different shelters so this has been played with me at MSC South and it and at 1001 Polk Street so I was hit in the shelter at MSC South and then I also had someone look for a jacket and both cases they couldn't identify the guy who hit me and I couldn't find the jacket because it was dark so they didn't see anything and it 1001 Polk Street they kicked me out because it was dark when the guy who's 300 lb and is bouncing around like a judo instructor or some f****** thingand I'm sitting on the bed not doing anything and he claims that I assaulted him or was going to fight him and then everyone can see everything that's happening but they claim that it was dark so they couldn't see anything but it's it's like the lights are out but it's like blue you know you can see you can see that so you can you can see it like when it's dusk so like that's the next thing and it's a joke because it's based on Roxanne and you don't have to put out the red light but calling me a w**** because reasonsso if you're not out on the streets smoking cigarettes and doing drugs will have you physically assaulted by black people and kicked out of shelters while you're gassed while you're physically gassed and like made sick while people while while you can't watch so it's a joke about prostitution so that's the next one it's like if you don't physically if you if you if you're unwilling or do not want to do drugs they will find they'll be like well it was dark and then everyone goes around you asking you if you have a light or a lighter or matches it's like why are you smoking why dude where's your where's your lighter and then if you don't smoke or you know then then someone will do drugs around you or you'll find someone who looks exactly like you but has but has like a I'm saying perfectly in exactly now they look like you but they're doing drugs and it's like where's your lighter it's like I don't want to but you'll have like a half dozen people ask you that because when you're in poverty and you need to get out of poverty the only thing you can think of is like what what like physical things can I think of to get from other people so I can leave here and you don't want to form like social ties and it makes it makes them incredibly upset especially when you when they keep drugging you and making you ill and the only thing you can think of is man I want a job and I don't want to become like I don't want to become permanently crippled but at some point it doesn't matter right like you're just going to become permanently crippled oh I found another one okay so at MSC South there's a woman whose face is incredibly line she has pink hair there's another older woman who's also like has like a skin problemin the lines on her face look like wood bark there's another again like it's not a criticism it's just it's so you can tell who they are there's one in MSC South last time I was there who's a woman and there's another guy who is at the 1050 South Van Ness who has the same skin condition and it may be one of the infection vectors for which it causes your skin to do all sorts of the crazy s*** like melt on your hands and so if they do drugs around you or they cough sick on you or on your bed you can develop the problems that they have and then your face starts becoming aligned and then your hands start to meltand then and then you become one of the people in the shelter for which the utility you have and being in the shelter is that you can cause other people to become sick and see you become like you become like a bouncer for the shelter but using sick that you have that will disfigure peopleand so if you go in the shelters and you start having like wrinkles and lines where you didn't have them before and it starts happening quickly and then you have other skin conditions like on your hands it may be because you have to start looking around for who has hand disease and then if it's coming from your pillows or you're feeling like you're having chest problems from your pillows it's because they'll have one of these guys who's sick whenever you do something wrong rather than tell you they'll just drug your pillowswith the sick they have because they don't want to tell you because they're scared that you'll say something and and then and then you start becoming permanently like disfigured but again like these are people who are like if you saw them you'd be like there's no way in hell that anyone would ever hire them because it like they just are ugly and it's not like it's not a criticism it's just like this is the way that you prevent someone from being employable you make it so that they become disfigured and then they can't get a job in retail and they have to be a genius in order to like qualify for a job elsewhere and one of the people are shallow and so what it means is that it just destroys all of their relationships because you f***** up their faceso last time I checked 555 embarcadero has a woman who does that or who is there who has that MSC South has a woman who has that in another woman who may have something else and 1050 South Van Ness has an older man who has the condition and the only place that I can get a bed is 1050 South Van Ness in the entire city unless I want to go back into the back of a van run by paramilitary gorilla forces that have in the past drugged me and tortured me in the back room of the van and repeatedly asked if I wanted to go to a mental hospital there's a large subtext to this of like mostly or like a large section or subsection of the people who are homeless are either gay or haven't had sex and I don't like maybe that's a thing I don't know but like if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend will pull you out and then you'll you'll be like saved by your relationships that aren't from your parents but if you don't then all your friends and family will go oh well we don't care let's see if he'll just die and I don't for me it's strange becauseI don't want to qualify for not being murdered by having a spouse I don't I don't know how that would work like I don't understand that but I desperately wish that someone would rescue me because I don't I don't know how to leave here and I'm scared I'm going to die or become disfigured if I haven't already started to like become like sick compared like I think I've aged 10 years in the space of three or more like 15 years I don't like I don't know how bad I am off a guy I think I'm sick and the worstlike I have jowls now and I'm 39 and I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to like I'm scared I'm not going to be able to like leave here because I'll be too sick and the worst and the more sick you get the less likely it is that anyone will attempt to get you out of here for obvious reasons I mean at some point you just become a liability because no one will hire you because you're ugly or or because like your hands are f***** up or your back is f***** up and now what and so like I don't like I have no idea what the f*** to do if I go to 1050 South Van Ness I already know that there's like one guy there that's sick with the disease that's like the bouncer disease it'll f****** your face and I don't care that he's ugly like that part doesn't bother me like people are ugly I just don't want to have someone cough sick on my pillows and then find out that like I'm missing an eye or like my cheeks look like like a wood block painting like I I'm scared that I'm going to be disfigured because someone because I've done something for which someone has decided I'm going to use my sickness as a weapon and like that's the only shelter that's available and otherwise I just randomly walk around and I'm coldand I just wander around until I like fall over like I don't know that you can just ask like I don't know if I should just ask somebody if I could live at their place continuously or knock on doors until I'm arrested I mean if I do that I think the homeless would find a way to hurt me but it's all of this s*** where it's like that would be the secret the entire time there's no rules here except to the extent where you're like I don't want to have to find the no rule rule in order to figure out how not to be killed anyway I've said I'm I'm like I keep repeating myself with slight iterations of difference only because I want to kind of completeness out of this I don't know I don't know how to convince my family that I don't want to die and I think that they're all they're all like there's something wrong with them like I think the only thing I can think of is that they all they all either want to have me murdered and they and they want me to die like okay so here's the possibilities they all have decided I'm a bad person collectively and want want me to diep they have been promised a large sum of money for which if they if they forfeit like telling me anything then everybody loses all the money right they're all so sick themselves that like this sort of crazy s*** is everywhere and like being around them would just make it worse and they can't fix any of it I don't think I'm I like what else is there I don't know I called up all item and he's a friend of mine and he like hung up immediately sounded like he was scared and I you know I don't even know what to do about that I just said hihe said hello and I said hi and he hung up and I'm like okay I don't even know that he knew it was me my back hurt and I had my entire body feeling cold while I was in the street and sleeping or trying to so I went to the St Francis again and they gave me food after doing an EKG in a blood test so it was turkey sandwich cut pieces it was nature valley granola bars it was 100% apple juice from some organization it was yellow mustard from Heinz and it was Mayo that was 50% light and 50% fat and so I ate everything except the turkey sandwiches and the male may or may not have been bad because it would be funny because of the packagingso they played love songs and throw a sock on the ground because someone's like come around you and masturbated so while I was asleep someone who was sick may have just come into the room and jerked off not touching me but just you know being sick in the room at the same time I don't know and I was unconscious I don't know but there's something like you can often tell the black people who are sick because they'll play love songs and follow you around or play love songs when when they're sick and you're sick at the same timeit's it's mixing psychiatric illness to like I must love you cuz we're sick to the same s*** except I made you sick I don't know but I was freezing in my entire body cramped up from being poisoned at the with the food at the prior place they wiped and all or something on it and then if I and then I go back to St Francis and from Sutter health I go back there and the food they gave me may or may not have made me sick but it again I didn't eat the turkey sandwich because it wasn't prepackaged and therefore I can't say that there's a supply chain problem I mean thethe upshot of this is is that if something is packaged with like what looks like a corporate logo and then you are made sick then you can say that there's something wrong with the supply chain so it affects more than just you and if somebody gives you a poisonous sandwich they mean by hand then they can just sick and you so I don't know maybe the 50% light mayo versus the real male cuz they have real mail you can get real Mayo packets it's just his real Mayo on it one of them may make some people sick and one may make some people not sick depending on what's in the packagebecause it's funny and it looks like calm because it's mayonnaise so you can add this to the list of supply chain problems within the city so one of the ways they're f****** with people is that if you like masturbate then it's like everything is either an introduction or a goodbye but you never have any of the content of the middle right and this is it's designed to like screw with people until they like end up meeting someone and falling in love and then you and then you stick in the two of them and it's it's just it's psychiatric illness mixed with social engineering and I keep talking about it because they're just so f***** upit's it's again it's it's like sexual abuse it would be like you find a woman and then you every time she has her period you like beat her like if I don't jerk off I get testicular cancer this you know I don't know so anyway the next one is be safe so someone will say be safe but be safe sounds funny like a bee and a safe which is the wicker man and so someone is a mall cop and then the answer at the end is that everyone on the island hates him and the whole thing is is a joke where at the end there's a big wicker man and he's tied up and bees or put around his faceso every time I eat I only have things that will like cause inflammation and then they have an acne studios and so you'll have people who you'll meet on the street who have acne all over their face and their face is f***** up I've seen this before I've seen many of these things before and so when I see it and I see multiple people telling me to be safe it's done in such a way where like if if you don't eat the tainted meat or the tainted sandwiches the only things that you'll be given our food that will cause acne and then intentionally done so it'll f*** you up and then I'll by the way the mayonnaise will f*** you up anyway because that part and then anyway so if someone gets their face f***** up then it's funny because like the wicker man and because of The picture of Dorian Gray and then money trades hands because of that I've seen young people where they have facial scarring and acne that is like debilitating and causes like permanent damage so it's done in such a way to like it's done in such a way to disfigure people and this is like this is like you know you go to the you go to the hospitals and afterwards they'll say you know be safeand so again it's Dracula and a joke about virginity and etc and then the whole thing is a multi-layered joke about being poisoned to a movie and then the movie is about and so on and you see the multi-level layered joke for what it is once you have enough media exposure and you see like all of the layers to it and again it just sounds arbitrary because it could be any movie like based on two words and a missing e so like why the wicker man why The picture of Dorian Gray why acne studios I don't know but I've seen people like disfigured coming around the corner from acme studios after I watch the wicker man or there was an advertisement for it or something like a couple years ago and then and then I was reading The picture of Dorian Gray and because like my reading habits and my choices come from the library and then I see that and then that trigger some subsystem or someone knows about it or something then because all of the things in the entire like City or link together if someone reads a horror novel but they're like followed around by crazy people then you know so it's just it's designed so that like if you read a horror novel you'll be followed around by people who have like disfigurements and s***because the entire thing is designed to f*** with your sense of self and so when you come along and you and like people start changing the way they greet or like they they dismiss you whatever say goodbye then then you know it's the next iteration of the tree of like schizoaffective violence and all of this from like getting getting food from two different shelters or two different hospitals one of one the Sutter health hospital had poison wiped on the outside of the packages for which I believe they were clean food and then I don't know aboutp about the one at St Francis but I think that the mayonnaise was screwed up possibly but like once you've been poisoned the like drop a bunch of garbage on the ground indicating you've been poisoned like a sock and a nose ring and dimes and s*** just a bunch of garbage like a dime is like a dime bag and a sock is like jerking off and stupid just stupid f****** s*** but like I fell asleep in the same Francis I fell asleep in the St Francis in the St Francis hospital roomand that's why people you do say do amphetamines is because they're trying to prevent people from poisoning them in their sleep and I was so cold that my muscles and my back was was tensing up after being poisoned the last time and my hands were freezing so that I couldn't warm them up anymore and I don't know if that was something wrong with this the food they gave me or something wrong with the the ventilation in the hospital or something so that the like I don't know like I go to the hospital I get I'm sitting in the hospitaland I suddenly get cold all over in the cold doesn't go away even when I'm on the street and I just I don't like the hospitals are corrupt and the hospitals are corrupt and the police are corrupt there's no like there's no point anymore I can't like I can't I can't do anything here cuz they're too stupid I mean I could sit on a street corner and make friends with people smoking crack or I could Chase hookers but I don't want to do that because I don't like doing those things it just doesn't interest meall I want is a is a room in a bed and a place to read a book and not be in pain and to sleep and not be in pain and all they know is is doing drugs and dying and and religion and I just there's nothing like they tear down everything they make and they just destroy everything so like it's going to be one of these things where because it's the be safe thing they're going to have me hounded from one place to another where it's like I'm a detective trying to find out the secret and there is no secret they just want to have me killed and they're going to try and run me down into exhaustion by having all the shelters turn me out and then having everyone around me just poison me and it's it's like an extra judicial killing based on something funny and they've done this s*** before and so they're just evil f**** like there's nothing like you know other I don't I don't think this happens in any other like society it's just killing for sport and they you know you can pay someone enough money to like kill someone in public and then a bunch of people bet on it or participate in it and and everyone thinks it's amazing and hilarious and a wonderful time they're just broken and I don't know I'll just document it and as much as I can until I can't I can't anymore one of the things the Mexicans think is funny is to look up right it's this joke about how dogs can't look up because like the way the dog's body is made and if your back is f***** up based on like being hunched over like Atlas carrying the world then you can't look up because you're back in your neck are screwed up and there's a couple diseases that cause this one's called as and stands for something like an a and an s or something I don't know and it's an it causes hand it hand deformities and spinal problemsand if you give some of this someone that's disease a little bit it's genetic but most of these genetic illnesses you can like you can give someone a little bit of it by just sickening them repeatedly I moved the opinion and I don't know if this is true but many of these genetic diseases where it says you can't catch it I think you can at least in a little bit if you screw up somebody's genotype enough at least from what I can tell I may be wrong but if you can give someone this disease a little bityou can start stacking diseases so you can get the symptom prototype you need oh that here's the other thing on the way to the on the way to the hospital while I was shivering in my hands were f***** up someone put the cover for a book called a deadly education on on the side of the road and I had been finding this I've been tracking down this this someone who would who would run a bookstore called run for cover books and then they just put like a cover on the ground so while I was staying so I was I found like a cubby hole that was made from likea recessed area where there was like an entrance to a store and people would go past and like talk about a billionaire or like talk about and like how he was a terrible person or like talk about talk about like a like a brain illness that causes surgery and s*** like that and then when I went to the hospital they quoted that s*** while I was in the waiting room and it was like homeless people f****** with me and then I go to the hospital where I ended up getting food and the nurses were laughing and joking about like what the homeless people were quoting at me to f*** with me to this idea ofa deadly education so I mean again like I know that people are coordinating having me stocked and murdered and it's like where else can you go to get calories and maybe sleep off whatever you have so you're not going to die and there's half a dozen hospitals only two of which are in walking distance and so the nurses and the staff are like going to be paid off oh and there's a guy there who has a tattoo similar to mine but I'm supposed to care because he stole my artwork or some such stupid b******* and it's like I don't care it doesn't bother me in the least the poisoning is what bothers me the fact that I'm being stalked bothers me the fact that there's no way to get any money or leave the city because everyone is schizophrenic and wants and codependent that bothers me like when she make it to someone can't leave no matter what they do then you've created a prison society and and then nothing you do matters because you've essentially decided that you're going to torture someone if you won't give them the money to leave or you've designed a system where it's impossible to leave you've decided that you want to kill this person and everyone around you is just like participating so it you know one of the things that the nurses do at the hospital is they take payoffs to f*** with people via the homeless most likely from Rich donors is some sort of like game it's either that or they get a payoff of like some anarcho whatever b******* which instead of money they use some social credit or Bitcoin or something it's probably it's probably dirty Bitcoin is what it is just somewhat it's just some way to launder money at the end of the day it's always going to be some sort of way of laundering dirty money I should also mention the following because these are people who have an ideology because they're bored most of these people are bored like they're sick they need us they need something to do or believe in and they're bored and they want to hurt people so boredom is a motivator where like you don't have to believe in something you're just looking for entertainment which allows you like more flexibility in many ways than somebody who does believe in something because then you can just do absurd s*** and you just don't careso I'm saying that this is someone so because a correlation between media there's also like a personal correlation and in this instance I believe it's like that one time that I got an earring in my left ear for which it was like around earring it's like why would that matter it's like I don't know cuz I thought it was cool and it was a kid like I don't f****** know but then it proves that guys can also care about appearance or it's a feminist thing or like it's a thing that shows originality or something and then it goes back to rather than and then this goes back to are you going to save that thing about your personal experience and therefore point out how we're screwing you personally as opposed to an ideology having to do with movies and then you have and then if you do that then you have somebody arguing you have somebody arguing or making the case that like you're not original anymore and so they'll copy what you do like a niche to make like a mini me of all the things that you either like or have done in the pastp so like one of them is a correlation of screwing someone to movies so he complains about it and then copying all the movies or all the things that he likes as art any other thing is is like here's all the things that he's done personally let's copy all of those after we've screwed him over to this thing over here but they're two different ideas like they're two different tree structures that result in the same thing right and there can be multiple of them right there could be multiple of this sort of trees situation just so long as the trees have the same path with the same outcome it doesn't matter where the correlation is between movies or whether the correlation is between personal experiences as long as you can cross correlate them to each other and whatever the input is for making someone sick if it helps any it's sort of like parallel parallel circuits in a circuit board as opposed to in-series circuits but now I'm doing the run for cover version of a deadly education and then I'll be sick into something elsebecause you have to prove the case when you have a large number of assholes that no one can talk about how many assholes are here because then just more assholes come and no one who's cool and wants to do needed interesting things so the nature people show up if you were like nature which is brave New world which is communism and the and the save the children foundation shows up if you believe in Big brother which is like 1984 which is like capitalism and so if you're in one of these two extremes they'll drug you and then have those people show up and so there showed up they showed up on Valencia Street and then it's like raising money to offset like the thing for which the guys being drugged or something again it's like one of these things whereyou end up you end up arguing against something which is how you're being screwed over but it's legal and this is one of the reasons there aren't any businesses here and it's because someone will open a business and then name it after someone that's been hurt or like is a joke about somebody who's been screwed over and then somebody says something about it and then this goes back to Christian mythology having to do with Christian mythology having to do with forgiveness but it notes at no time to someone say you know we shouldn't screw with or drug someone so that they're sick and then have the person who either knows what's going on or did the screwing and drugging over like well I get a get a way of like helping others or get like something where like they get money or position in society where the other person's getting screwed over so it's it's like there's the thing like how long like how often there's the joke of like how often have you been beating your wife or how many times a week do you beat your wife except in this case what it is is it's like the joke stop hitting yourself and you have someone just hit you repeatedly or why won't you forgive me it's so it's more along the lines of why won't you forgive me and then you hurt the person repeatedlyand then if they say anything you then have something for which you can hold over their head I already had someone who was going to monitor to see if I would act rationally and so rather than like do something like violent what I do is I just record all of it and say like well okay so the save the children foundation depends on if it's 1984 in the nature nurse nurture foundation is based on whether or not I go with nature so if I if I decide not to starve myself in order to get money but rather I use a charity to eatthen I'll have the nature foundation this is also popular when I've been kicked out of the shelter for like an arbitrary reason then they'll show up as like a volunteer charity Force because it's not a company right it's their volunteering so this is the other thing which is quite common is that if you have a legitimate complaint wearing like if you have a legitimate complaint where like something is wrong and you make you make noise about it like you you make it known that if there's something wrongso they'll have someone drug you okay and then they'll and then this person who drugs you is like powerless or like this person who drugs he was is like lame in some way like they're either a child or they're or their elderly or something and then they'll volunteer but what it means is that like you couldn't accidentally have been drugged by someone who is powerful enough so that what they do and what you do is correlated in such a way where you might benefit to the extent that you can pull yourself out of povertyso if someone is kicked out of a shelter and they're living on the street and they complain about it and they make waves about how they're going to die then what you do is you have the nature people come and show up and then they drug the person who was kicked out of the shelter and then that that means that no one else will drug them that day even accidentally and then any gifts that the volunteers get is like is charity for which if you're popular you'll get charity but it no point will likewill you be drugged with somebody who has a store or business in some way and then that might accidentally help you in some way and so it's coordinating drug abuse to hurt people and then if you mention this this is like the silver from the Bible verses the gold so if you like trying if you if you mention the fact that you're being f***** over even that isn't allowed right because it seemingly a rational it's just how all the drugging works so if you have somebody who's going to go out of their way to drug you according to what you've done and everybody knows about it and if those guys get like goodies then you get goodies then it doesn't matter if it's magic or if it's just serialized abuse by stalking people it's like the end result is the same right now if I had if I had like gotten money illegitimately or if I had gone out of my way to do the 1984 Big brother thing for which whatever that would be perhaps I would write a novel but like I do it in such a way where I wouldn't break the law but I would find an excuse to hurt someone but like it would be clever and then I would be followed around and sickened by families anytime someone thought that the way that I was making money was a moral in some waybecause it's like big brother in 1984 and and you'll have people like seeing if they can take Parker Brothers games cuz again he's parking right he doesn't want to drive where driving is like a 1970s thing having to do with like your car is the most technologically interesting thing about you which has to do with drugs because it's like a spaceship and so they'll take and so they'll take these Parker brother games and they'll see if they can't make you sick till like Monopoly or sorry or one of the other gamesin a way where it's like coordinate the game with screwing with the guy and if it's not that right like it'll be a Nintendo game because there's the big Nintendo store and so they'll find someone who's making money but like he has to go fast like he's programming too hard and it upsets people who are drugging him they'll find they'll like put Sonic the hedgehog things on their bags and see if they can't find somebody who's doing meth to do drugs around you which happened when I came here originally they'd have somebody in a cost they like costumes because they hate burning Man and I also hate burning man because I have to admit you can't like in San Francisco was to and I hate burning Man too because like it it San Francisco so screwed up you have these people going and having this fuckingalia and it's just like why why aren't you fixing things you're awful people but set that aside what they'll do is they'll take video game characters they'll dress someone up in costume to Sonic the hedgehog the gassy with meth and then have the guy follow you around because you like get excited and have large amounts of dopamine when you programand it's like you're going too fast and then the people who who are upset about this because the amount of drugging they do to you and how you manage to work on your things doesn't align and so in some sense it's like well you can be screwed over to 1984 or you can be screwed over to brave New world and it doesn't matter because they're people who are attempting to have you murdered in like funny interesting or creative ways and at some point they'll like change the game so like they're not going to use these anymore because I keep pounding them into the ground with like this is how they've done it over the last 3 years and then I'll just be a guy doing save the children and nothing bad will happen but then like this the way that you form a concordance to it'll be like this word of mouth thing where they like tell someone without what the other thing is that they're going to f*** people over too which makes it so hard to fix any of this because it's just anarcho a******and then once you lose like once you lose Goodwill and this is what I'm this is like once you once you start realizing that the people are operating in bad faith and they're good at it and they coordinate you can't just say okay we're not going to have this charity and this charity because you've abused it because because it means that the next thing they come up with will like also be a method of abuse like be at a store or a business or a charity or whatever like any kind of social any kind of social system where a bunch of people get together and then try and f*** someone else over and so you have this this like condition where like no one trusts anyone because whenever like more than two people get together they're forming a cabal to like f*** over someone and like I you know I wish I sincerelyif I were making this up I would it would make me happier because I would be like oh okay the problems aren't as terrible as they are and I'm just making s*** up but I'm not because like I've seen this over the last 3 years and I can correlate like how I've been f***** over and then how the charities suddenly appear so it just doesn't like the chair the charities may be a canary in the coal mine that I'm being f***** over in this way or it could be gassing me with drugs and then having the charity show up so the only thing that I'll get out of it of of my complaining is whatever someone will give to a charity right so so it's it's done in such a way to make it so that you force someone out of society using a charity and then you have a guy complaining about a charity which is like what you don't want us to be good to poor people like what's wrong with you so it's just it's just the worst forms of like shittiness it's the same s*** where they'll like use their like high school kid to make fun of the way they f***** up your back or they're 5 year old to like lie to you that doesn't sound right but like you know that they'll teach their five year old how to like abuse the poor and I've seen that s*** it's justI don't know this is my outlet for like riding how awful it all is and if somebody tears this down I'll just go on to some other social network this is worth mentioning so RF Quang is a Asian writer who wrote a bunch of books that became like somewhat famous but she can only write about academic like Harry Potter type situations which is bizarre there's a guy named cohei saito who's a Japanese author who wrote a book called slow down which is about environmentalism and how capitalism will eventually run into an environmental like wall which may be referenced an RF quang's book or one of the books about someone who is in hell because they never read dos capitalbut they claim to be a communism or proclaim to be a communist because even though Marx is mostly known for saying that capitalism doesn't work because the profit sharing mechanism is it like doesn't work mechanically for which he's wrong by the way the real reason that capitalism I feel is a problem is because you have the situation in which you run into an environmental problem right so cool hey saito can only write on this topic and he doesn't have any other topic for which you can write on so both of them are in some sense of One tree pony and they've been screwed into this like situation where they're famous for the one thing that they've done and they have to do it again like repeatedly which sucks but here's the here's the cool part if you go on to if you go on to on the Google AI and I might have to test Bing for this you can't ask it for like to give you a time frame for when economics will run into an environmental wall because it'll keep telling you that it that the the data is the data is up in the air and no one knows and it won't even make us it won't even make it supposition so somebody is hard coded that you can't ask it that question I mean f*** are of kwong in this cohei saito guy I want to know what's going on with whoever's hard coating AI to tell it yeah don't let people ask stupid questions that might get us in trouble and here's one of the stupid questions I want to know what the list of all the stupid questions are cuz that just makes me interested right. And then read this back of the envelope calculation on capital collapse of GDP https://copilot.microsoft.com/shares/4nCFTxzFCAu6srzhW89AB. And that means theres broad based crisis given historical data projected forward in the next ten years. i dont know how to solve this problem but it appears to be known and self evident. does that mean that the only solution is a world government war or a big brother situation curtailing freedoms? those would all be bad oitcomes as well. so I was sickened in my sleep again I don't know where if it was when I fell asleep in front of the shelter at 10:50 South Van Ness oh and then they're holding hands cuz I'm calling them out on it it's disgusting I don't like I don't they're just awful anyway I was thinking in my sleep again and so half my head hurts and then I go to 701 Alabama Street where there's a I don't know Hispanic grocery or something and they leave the what they do is they leave like one shoe on the ground and then they'll like put the other shoe in a bag and gas someone with it in their sleep so likeso like one person is on the street and one person is in a shelter and they're two different shoes that you like taking the foot fungus or the sick from and then like made someone sick to that s*** I only know this because it's so disgusting that they like do this but it's like it's like making the foot fungus from other people getting your body through drugging you while you're asleep either in the shelter or on the street and then I'll do that where like one person's shoes will be taken off one person will be drugged in a shelter one person will be drugged or sickened on the street and then that way the guy who used his shoes to f*** someone over or a couple people over will have those people like his feet it's stupid it's gross it's why everyone around here is sick but they'll like update my phone with like where to go like when I looked up like where so one of the things they do is because they control the social networks and it's just a matter of like how much money can you throw it f****** over someone's Google maps I mean it doesn't right like so because they control the social networksfeel like sicking you to that s*** and then when you look up where to go for food because that's obviously what you're going to do if you don't trust other people rather than ask them the phone will tell you to go here and then you'll find that you were sick into that and so is it's like and I just know that when I buy shoes with my EBT card or with the EBT money that game will go away rather than get shoes either for free or from a church except that I've complained so much that it probably won't so I'll just buy shoes then that game will go away and then there will be some other game about how you sicken people and then they all go around holding hands around you like you're a childand then some child will like get a get a candy bar or get like something for a dollar and then you'll be poisoned again in your sleep because you said something and so this is a method of like killing people off in order to like get money for people's kids and one of the things that I find interesting is that like the entire world economy is going to go and hit the s****** in about 10 years because like you can just do a statistical regression on the GDP and so what everyone is doing and you can watch the news to find this outis there trying to like is there trying to like make it so that people don't spend money in order to qualify for buying things and rather it's like a mix of Communism and like social credit mixed with brainwashing so like or like social or like social prodding so this s*** were like Trump bans packages from overseas it's social prodding that's like well let's see if we can't like nudge everyone to stop doing stop you know like shipping as much s*** everywhere and I don't know if it'll work but like what this is is it's a die off and it's a way of killing people based on I don't want to associate myself with people who are going to sicken me and then when they do I just write it all down the other thing that I find interesting is that it I may be being rewarded or not rewarded depending on how much I trust other people if so if you don't trust other people like there's a there's a couchsurfing site called trust roots I find this interesting there's a couch and and so if you put in your birthday your birthday will always be wrong if you go to trust roots like you put in the dialogue and then and then say go your birthday will be wrongand every time I go to the hospital all of the hospital staff will ask me what my birthday is and then repeat it to me back wrong because it's a joke on the fact that the people making the couch surfing websites are these people who are like we're not perfect and we have to prove this by making a broken system intentionally there's also a couchsurfing website that has to do with like pacifism and like the peace sign and all that happy horseshit and you have to go through an interview process and all sorts of s***and then couchsurfing turned into a pay model so it's what it's doing is is you take somebody who's interested in technology or likes technology and wants to come here to work on that sort of thing and then you poison them to an ideology that's in technology that they have to then use out of necessity after you've repeatedly gaslighted them and tortured them to this well not saying anything like I'm going to the hospital for scabies on the way to the hospital everyone does drugs and then the person at the hospital will repeat my name backwards to merepeatedly and it's because of the stupid website that they don't like and the reason they don't like it is because every time someone came here who is who is homeless that they were trying to kill or murder they just went on a couchsurfing website and then ran away after finding friends and so they keep finding ways that people will escape from them and then they get upset and iterate on how good they are at killing people because they're attempting to set up like concentration camps what they want to do is find a way to make the ideal concentration camp where someone comes here and they want to make a living and then if they don't become communist and they don't do stupid s*** they can just murder them and then you find out after afterwards they find out afterwards after someone has escaped that they can they can gaslight someone in another way in order to hide this and they're doing it because they think that just killing a bunch of people is going to solve the GDP problem and it won't what you end up doing is you end up coming up with war crimes and then afterwards the GDP problem is still there because you spend all your time killing people rather than make anything useful so you just set up a system like there's this idea of like you know war is the mother of invention and if we just if we're just assholes maybe we can solve the the GDP ecological problemit doesn't work that way you can make a better missile and you can make it more interesting gun and that's not going to save the bees or make it so that people can plant food like or it's these people who are upset that they've been screwed over and they want to just kill people for fun oh people go around in like right on the side of a sidewalk piss because I tend to pee when there's no toilet and then all of these people are like either get excited about it or are weirded out about it and I don't understand whyand so yeah I don't know also if I drink a lot of water and everyone is going to sicken me to a a child that like eats ice cream someone will vomit up ice cream I'll do this in a bathroom where no one sees me drink the water so I don't know if that's evidence that like I don't know if that's evidence that telepathy exists I mean maybe but on the other hand it's like I've been kicked out of all the shelters and I'm being drug repeatedly and prevented from having a job and having all these people attempt to sicken me to their El to their elderly or to their like children and I just would like that to stop so that I'm not treated like I'm a laboratory experiment I don't you know I many of these problems are relatively easy to solve like if you want to solve the GDP problem you just start growing your own food and then making liquor and preservatives and being as efficient as possible with the food supply and then doing everything you can to make the power greatest stable as possible and then decarbonizing and that's what everyone has to do for the next 10 years to prevent world war 3or on the other hand you could just set up a society designed to kill people so everyone can have their SUV and then your kids like if you have a 5-year-old like I keep saying this and everyone gets upset like I want people to drown their children and I'm saying you might as well because you're not doing any of the things that are required to fix the problem and I'm not part of this is is that I don't want to start a religion right like I don't want people doing what I say because people are stupid and then if I say something they'll do do the absolute wrong thing either on purpose or because they're morons I just don't want to be poisoned and f***** with anymoreall of that said if you're going to go around using your children to hurt other people it's like why you have this GDP time bomb that has environmental problems mixed into it and if your kid is like what's the draft age right 18 if you have a 10 year old and there's this GDP problem where I can I can put it in a statistical regression and ask being when GDP will stop working and it says 10 years then when your kid is 20 and there's a draft they're going to go get shot in some foreign country so rather than like screw at the homelesswhy don't you use the 10 years to fix the problem like the thing is is that my whole like thing about coming to California in 2020 and like working on this was because I saw the the like I saw the problem and I'm not an environmentalist I think many of the environmentalists are weird and gross and Goofy and like you know they knit their own sandals and they wear stupid hair and their nuts but many of the environmental problems are like just use efficiency and the efficiency gains you know about to Target environmental problems rather than give the guy whowho made Bioshock of fleet of submarines and that doesn't mean like you can't have capitalism it just means that everyone should be going to the government and petitioning large businesses to make things to prevent the Apocalypse like you can have video games and stupid s*** and you can also text the ever loving f*** out of people who have money and spend all of it on fixing the environmental problems and then helping people so I don't I just I don't know I I now get to sleep outside again tonight and then maybe go to aI'll just go to another hospital and ask for food I mean if this is supposed to be a test of whether or not I can sleep outside because I believe in the environment and therefore it's funny like like f****** brave New world I mean what do you want me to say like you're going to make me sick and then make me sleep outside because brave New world you can do a statistical regression that says the GDP will end up crashing the global economy and probably the only way to fix that is big brother because you have people taxed the richbut if I can ask Google or Bing to tell me when the world economy is going to end because the oceans will acidify and will run out of like phosphorus for growing food and it gives me a date like poisoning me to a stupid book that's a dystopian novel doesn't make you right it just makes you an a****** I'm still right I'm still the person I'm the kind of guy that wants to fix the problem and you're making me sick and when you do that you essentially you're telling me and telling everyone else f*** my kids I'm going to die in 10 years anyway I don't give a s*** let's have world war IIIand it's like why you're going to invite people here who care about s*** like fixing it so that it makes everyone happier and you're going to prevent them from climbing out of poverty or getting a job so that they can bootstrap themselves into a position to help you for what possible reason and so I'm surrounded by assholes who who think they know better and they don't who are attempting to have me killed and I just it's like yeah okay so you're going to it's people who are murderous and suicidal and so you can't reason with them that's the thing like when someone and it's like enough people that you can't do anything usually ifusually if there's someone who's murderous and suicidal they like shoot up a a gathering of people and then are killed but it's like everyone in the entirety of San Francisco it's like everybody who decided not to shoot up a church or a high school came here and is is using their children to make the poor sick and I don't know like I I have no preconceived notion of how to fix any of that because I don't know how to deal with people who are psychotic like if there's large collections of groups of people that are like mentally ill and want to have you killed what the f*** are you what the f*** are you supposed to do but you can't talk about environmentalism or someone will have you killed or want you to like or if you do it wrong where you eat the food the food wrong are you grunted people wrong they'll have you poison to something else there's no way to like live here they're sick they're mentally ill and then everyone will get upset because it's like a it's like a it's like a one idea proposition right like you only care about this one stupid ideaand it's like no I care about a bunch of s*** but like once that's true like you've come up with a true fact okay now you fix it by coming up with all of these inventions and all of these ways of of like doing things to make it so that everyone is happy and no one wants to be told what to do but you can still tell someone what to do and then they can say you're wrong and I disagree with you without having you like someone attempt to poison her murder you but they're incapable that's the f***** up part is that even when I'm right even when I'm correct in that what they're doing is going to get them killed they're not capable of taking I'm taking an idea that they disagree with and then and then saying you know what I disagree with you but I'll hire you in your in my coffee shop and give you a place to live because you're a responsible person that's not going to go out of your way to hurt me and they're not capable of doing that and so like I get to find I get to find a hospital to see if I can eat crackers that aren't poisonous and then report back if the hospital is intentionally going to try and poison me because I'm poorwhile making up an excuse for why I'm there and then maybe that excuse will be used in the future to have me poisoned or sickened I think that also what's going on is that they have people who are mentally retarded who have suddenly suddenly gotten power like people who have down syndrome and then those people are being used to sick in others out of like some weird misconception having to do with pornography or because I don't know why because it's funny or because of sick a I didn't understand and so they crossed correlated a bunch of s*** it shouldn't because someone gave an AI power it shouldn't have had I simply don't knowI wonder if they're attempting to make me mentally retarded to see if I'll be friends with the mentally retarded while sickening me repeatedly I I sincerely don't know it's it's bizarre and I it's it's one of these things where they're they're I believe they're just testing out biological weapons as a form of violence and like once you have ai they can do this s*** one of the things is it's going to be so good at violence it's going to be like again it's a statistical correlation machine so you use this toothpaste to use this hair gel you walk down this side street you listen to this song and then all of a sudden you manage to have blood shoot out your ears and your head falls off and it and it it'll just be like how to you know it's just a correlation machine and that's how you can do that so like so I mean I hate everything about the peace nicks I hate the culture I hate the stupid clothing I hate the dumb hair I hate the the like the mythology of it I hate the religious aspects of it I hate the way that they screw with people until they're like going around flipping the peace sign everywhere and then there's a difference between jealousy and hate which is like the hell version of the peace sign I think it's all dumb I think it's incredibly silly all that being said like you're in a position where you have the tools to either fix society so that you have GDP and and like a functioning global economy into the future or you do nothing and there's world war 3 like if you don't if you don't let's put it this way if you do nothing in 10 years there will be world war 3 and that's just math like that's just that's just looking at the correlation from okay Bing take every credible and I asked being and I put the link here it looked at the it looked at the like world health organization like I don't remember all the ones but they're all like you can look at it it's all the most credible data sets and it made like a back of the envelope regression now you could you could make that regression in a in in Matlab or r and and make it like tighter and then clear out all the variables that are wrong but the results will be more or less the same like you'll maybe some of the p-values will drop by like half a percentage or a percentage point but making a statistical regression using it a co-pilot and then the most the most and then and then just asking you to do a regression is relatively easy for the capabilities of the software and the answer is in 10 years there's going to be like a GDP crunch which means that there's going to be either like violence or everyone just stops using things and one of the things that happens with this is like once this is like one of the things is that like the question is is why this isn't been priced into the market like I don't know why ten your futures aren't like pricing in the possibility of world war 3 given that the statistical regression says that it's there's going to be a GD GDP crunch like I don't know why the bond market isn't s******* itselfand most likely the reason is is because everyone is just decided to print money until you inflate your way out of the problem but if you do that then everyone ends up having like like if you inflate your way out of the problem it doesn't solve the problem right because it means that in 10 years a pizza costs $1,000 it just makes it so that all the prices rise dramatically and then everyone becomes poor and then and then suddenly they're all confused about why everyone doesn't have every anything anymoreso like it's not people aren't dumb for the most part working class people aren't idiots if you can ask if you if you give them an artificial intelligence where you're like this is what a statistical regression is like I could explain all this in like 10 minutes to anybody who asked it's like what's a statistical regression right and then you explain what that is it's like well if you have a bunch of data but it's noisy you can make a line so that like when this happens this other thing is likely to happen that's what a regression is right and so I don't I don't know why I don't know why someone isn't like we're working on this problem you have a degree in mathematics please come over here and work on this problem with us or like or like plant something I don't I don't understand and I don't know once I have once I know this in like once I figure this out it's like okay well what do I do personally I don't know because everyone around me appears to be crazy they're just going to concerts and getting drunk and high all the time because I believe they've just decided that there's no point and you can't do anything and you might as well just kill yourselfthe fact that AI is making it unemployment about 13% for young people doesn't help at all so I don't I don't know I'm going to now I get to go to a hospital and I get to beg for food because the hospital will be at least somewhat like they'll have chairs and I can sit and I can read my book and not wander around and bleeding feet and shoes that make my feet hurt you know if I didn't have a job and this is what I did when I was a kid it's like when I didn't have a job when I was 25 I went back to my parents place I jerked off a ton and then I read everything on the internet and read books I didn't like what I had money and I was able to go I just I just wish I had the power to like like if I was Bill Gates I would know what to do like if I had a hundred billion dollars I could fix the problem and it's just so galling because it's like I don't have a hundred billion dollars I want to live like a monk or like live where I don't spend money and then fix social problems so that I don't die in 10 years and I don't have to live through through a holocaust I mean fixing the banking system would be easy fixing there's just be so many things I could do and I just can't because and I can't get a job either because I don't have the resources so I can't do the I can't do the society fixing thing and I can't do the thing to help myself I just I don't know what the f*** to do anyway I'm going to go beg for food from the hospital and then read my book so I don't have to think about this and instead my book is going to be like a guy learning how to sword fight which is much more cool cuz please don't hurt me with a sword don't chase me down the street with a samurai sword please I want to I would like to read this in a Fantasyland and then not have someone attempt to have me murdered if you wouldn't mind. oh this is obnoxious this is the next thing God damn dude so the stupid AI for what I talk into my phone changed murdered into meat market because the phone is using the GPS location to change the auto correct when I speak into the phone and you still can't give people loans so that they can do something like an Eco business or like fix things I just okay I'm going to stop talking now. I went I went down and shotwell Street on the way to I went on shotwell Street on the way to the to the the hospital and they put the tech destroys wolf on everything and I was annoyed because among other things there's a there's a flu vaccine for which it has a wolf in sheep's clothing but the wolf is like scared of black people and people that help black people which is like Helter skelter and Helter skelter was arguing about the environmental apocalypse and so it's making someone sick to someone who's and then and then like screwing with them so that if you if you weren't racist against people black people in the first place you would be by the end of being screwed with and then you give them the flu but then there's a flu shot so anyway I I just did this whole like screed about how that was stupid and annoying and then I said something along the lines of like rather than like screw over people because there's an environmental problem did it never occur to anyone to just like hire people to like fix it by doing things like making an electric 747 because you know planes pollute quite a bit in the upper atmosphere rather than like screw with people and make them sick so like I just complained for quite a bit and it's just complaining about art but then the art talks about how you're going to screw someone over and if they complain about that then it gives you the reason for screwing someone over so you feel justified post hawk it's like rather than do all that stupid s*** you could just like give people tax incentives to brew their own alcohol because among other things if you learn how to brew alcohol you learn all the ways of like making food and then people might make their own food or you could turn the rooftops in San Francisco into an urban garden or you could write and then make it easier to have food licenses or something else and so there's all this like it's like rather than rather than do the right thing everyone did the stupid thing out of spite and meanwhile in 10 years being is telling me that the economy is going to take a s***and it might cause world war 3 and I've been having and I've been having people screw with me for 3 years at no point did someone say you know what all that s*** you like with websites is f****** stupid and we're all worried about like the ecology and like the environmentalist s*** right now so we all want you to work on that s*** here's a job go do that and then the reason you're doing this job rather than the computer s*** job is because that's now the important thing for which we're like mostly worried aboutabout like the environment and environmentalism and stuff at no point did someone just say that s*** and been like we're going to all do this now and like this is what most people care about and so we should all do that and here's the reason why I went to San Diego in 2020 with a paper that said I cared about the environment and I was worried that like there would be like a disaster and that's why we had to have ai and now you can just ask being when the world economy will collapse because of environmental destructionand like I still want to work on computers if someone said hey you're going to work on computers when you give you this amount of money then I would be like cool and then I would spend the money like making an orchard in my backyard but at no point does anyone have any kind of like sense of like we should help the people that might help us in some way no they just want to poison people out of spite because they're crazy and I just I don't you're on a sinking ship there's a guy who knows how to fix leaky boats but in order in order to have them fix the leaky boat you're going to have to tell him that the boat is leaking and that you value his skills and fixing the leaky boat so that he'll do it and he knows what's going on but you don't like the guy because he makes more money than you do and so you're just all going to die or because he's slightly annoying I think this is what people think I think this is how people act and I don't if the world could be saved because you had to pay an aeronautical engineer to make a Tesla747 people would rather that the world ended rather than like pay a guy more money than they had or that was had more status than them for some reason I just think people are insane I don't know anyway I'm going to stop talking now and then go in the hospital and then read my book after all of that and all of that screed started when I said like when I started out by saying I didn't think Elon musk was a monster because he was shooting rockets into space and and environmentalism is a problem because the people who are causing the problem are the sort of douchebags that buy a new television every 3 weeksor 3 months inland like are the consumerist idiots rather than the person like making cool s*** that might save everyone but I think everyone hates hates this guy because he's shooting rockets into space and it's environmentally destructive destructive but at the same time it's like he might he might create the satellite Network that could like come up with the next Einstein they could figure out how to make the environment work because some guy in Africa has a GPS phone and then he's in the jungle and he finds some weird s*** or something likeI'm not part of the lootite thing and I can't hate people who are who are rich but are kind of douchey the person that I dislike is the guy who made the game Bioshock and then bought a fleet of submarines that guy's a tool I mean if you have to hate people with who have money but right now it's like I I dislike people who are around me because I can't get a job or not be poisoned in the shelters because the people who are running the shelters are all crazy and sick and they've all been put there for ideological reasons to screw with me specificallyeither because I'm white or because I'm not race blind enough or I don't believe in the things in the right order or you know whatever and so it's like what what we should do to make the city functional is we should make all of the homeless shelters run by gangsters who will poison people until they're crippled I just think everyone here is a douchebag anyway now I'm going to go into the f****** emergency room a bunch of stupid s*** which isn't worth getting into slashed out appears to have run a story about just as a coincidence about climate change but it was diluted right is dilute the solution a joke on final solution but it's dilute like die the guy who's playing the loot because you're like an medieval times and then I say dilute the solution and then that's like a man in the middle what does that even mean joke and I was just at the hospital and so it's a hospital joke so it was something likethe thing they were talking about was like in a hundred years the current will change so that the current that gives warm water to Europe will change so that so that Europe will be like colder and have a mini ice age but it's one of these things where it's like yeah and no one's going to give a s*** and so it's business as usual because it's like in 100 years we're all dead whereas this is more along the lines of anyone that asks Bing will be told that we'll run out of resources in 10 years givenstable economic growth I don't know it's like it's like fighting everyone it wants that likes money and I don't know I just don't want to die and have food and I don't have a place to live so that's cool right so this is the next one I I screwed this up so someone threw a rubber band on the ground after like I passed a JetBlue thing like a credit card thing and there's no there's no garbage anywhere so somebody ran out of the other apartment through a JetBlue credit card offer on the ground through a rubber band on the ground and then I passed someone doing drugs but they're smoking marijuana right and my head hurts after having two my head hurts after having two vitamin c drinks in an apple and an apple anyway sosomething about the drinks that I got from a hospital was poisonous and it's a joke on dilute right because the loot is an unfashionable instrument it's stupid and it's like a joke and they're doing drugs which is marijuana and then the drugs that I'm doing are stuff that'll make you sick but I don't want to do drugs because the drugs cuz you just poison people right it's just anyway you can also turn the phone on to airplane mode even if you're not in an airplane right and then the phone won't have GPS and people won't know where you areand at one point I was wrapping the cell phone in tin foil which must make you look crazy except of course turning the cell phone into airplane mode as a software solution as opposed to a hardware solution in any case the rubber band on the ground is a joke to someone my family knew who was named Paul stood here who used to have rubber bands around index cards and was a big libertarian he's a friend of my father's back in college and he hated the Green Peace movement in the greeny weenies because they were anti-libertarian and he called them he called them commies which you know they probably many of them are and Karl Marx and communism in the ecology movement in the GDP problem are all they all go together in any case what this is is someone finds out that I've been poisoned or I will be poisoned at a hospital they find out where I'm going to be they throw a garbage on the ground in a way that's funny that lets me know that they're listening to what I'm saying and then they go and run off and do drugs so I can smell it like a dog after after I've been poisoned with something in the hospital that will make me feel sick the other thing is is that the my so my dad collected pop tops from from cans of soda and so they'll also drop those on the ground and if I talk into the phone and I'm near a rubber band they'll turn on the the thing with the phone which will f****** my voice because it's like some radiation source or some like some vocal frequency that f**** up your voice through feedback probably in the auditory range that's known as the dog whistlebecause it's funny like dog whistle politics freedom of speech and not poisoning people tends to be right up there with s*** you should probably care about but whatever anyway so the trick here is I they blew the jet Blue and you can turn airplane mode on and then they can't screw it the cell phone and at the same time I blew the idea that someone is probably investing a stupid amount of money in electric commercial air travel but of course it's a hardware solution like that it's a software solution to a hardware problem and if you want to solve the problem in a way that won't make you sick at all rather than relying on trust with a cell phone that's specifically makes you sick you need to use tin foil like an idiot but it's just stalking and abuse by crazy people and it means that not only will someone find all this s*** out about my family and then f*** with me to it by like researching things they know about my family they'll poison the food supply and f*** with nurses at the hospital so if you get food at a hospital and then the cell phone will f*** you up it's like I don't give a s*** if you smoke pot I don't want to smoke pot with assholes and I don't want to be drugged by assholes either most likely these guys were so f***** up that like they have Tau proteins all over their head and the only way to get rid of it is to do drugs and so then they do drugs around people who are assholes who want to like further the problem and it's just so exhausting and annoying you think that people could like not be s*****but you found the s*** out about my family and then dropped rubber bands knowing where I would be so I should turn airplane mode on on my phone so that my bugged phone won't tell everybody where I'm at until of course you make a app that gets around airplane mode and then it just shows airplane mode but that doesn't work either this is the problem with being around people that are untrustworthy it's like when you find out how good they are at it then you don't trust damn near anything because you can f*** just about anything up if you try hard enough so this is probably the next stupid one of which I'm not supposed to say anything but I'll say it anyway because it's stupid and it's just a supposition but at this point I don't trust anyone and I just I'm assuming and I'm going to suppose or whatever so I fall asleep in front of a church which has a reeling up the stairs so it's like the Pink Floyd song about a cold steel rail I wake up shivering cuz you know it's I'm sleeping on concrete and someone gives me $2 but they're crisp $2 like they just got it out of a bank and my dad said so be it ending the conversation I had with him which I thought was stupid cuz he was being a tool and so if somebody gives you $2 that are crisp and you go to a vending machine then you get to pick what v ending you havelike am I going to pick nature's valley or am I going to pick a Snickers bar so like when people are done with the peace I get to pick which one of the ways I'm going to go out based on what kind of food I get and I'm sitting across from a mattress store called relax The back and relax the isn't lit but back is lit and it's white outlined in it's it's a blue word outlined in white that's white blue back right cuz you can you can turn the word into it you can turn the color into a word based on what the word isso if it's a white outlining a blue word that says back it's white blue back but if you think that people are are if you treat people badly and you only care about money and you only care about things and you don't care about people then you get to be the candy bar for which you eat at which point it's the v ending of well you didn't treat people right but it's funny cuz it's like treating people the thing of with the thing with all this s*** is it's like rather than than like rather than talk to someonethat they're an a****** or like to communicate your f****** feelings or like or like I don't know doing something that wouldn't involve torture you have a system of abuse based on like stalking and this is over someone giving me $2 right so now if I complain about this that someone gave me $2 and associated with all this other s***now I'm a terrible person that hates money but they called me brother there's the Pink Floyd reference there's the Cain and Abel reference and then if I spend the money on the wrong thingthen it's not a v ending right because whatever but if I spend it on what I want it proves that money is good I don't know it's just it's just the whole thing just smacks and manipulation again but then there was the JetBlue piece of paper or like envelope for a f****** credit card and so you might have had a bunch of people who take this and go I'm going to go to a vending machine and then it also works out because you didn't you didn't beg for quarters you didn't beg right right you didn't sit by the side of the road and and begging the way that's the right way to bag so this is so then after you've begged in the right way you'll be made sick or you'll find out you were supposed to beg this way and then the whole thing is so f****** dumb but if you treat people like s*** and they hate you like I don't understand where it's like yeah we should torture someone for at some level it's f***** up because at no point was I ever like I don't like someone so I'm going to torture them to death so I'm immediately going to go find some way to spend this money that I don't know what to do with that might keep me alive for the hospitals they'll drive a Penske truck around you because if you Penske like you you right but you're skiing downhill with a pen you right but you only write depressing s***about how you're being f***** with then your feet turn into to skis I screwed up typing for a minute cuz I pushed the wrong button so there's a mistake and then there was all this s*** about like a lamp and then that had to do with like someone throwing a lamp out and then like a tattoo and then f****** being on the moon cuz it's like you're a lamp head and then like Karl Marxit's all stupid and I hate it there should be just an option where you can sign up for like we all hate you we're going to give you this job and then we're going to tell you how much we hate you and it's not required but like we're not going to pretend like I don't this pretending s*** and then stabbing someone in the back is so obnoxious like my father will repeatedly say that I'm crazy and then set up this this system of like I end up at a place where like I get $2 where I can pick the way that the v ending works cuz it's like so be it and then you're like it like a candy barit's just dumb I don't know I don't know if I have a terminal illness or not and it scares the s*** out of me like I've been abused with the shelter s*** so often and all the s*** that I've touched that f**** up my body and ways that are weird that like I don't I don't know if I'm going to die and I'm f****** terrified and all of this s*** is supposed to be like you either feel self-righteous or like you laugh about it and it's probably a distraction from the fact that people are having you killedso I don't know at least if I mean it probably pisses off all the people that think it's funny but at least it won't happen to other people like I don't this is a stupid and while all this s*** is going on no one tells you what's what's going on or like is going to help you at all because you're doing it wrong whatever wrong means and then every time you see that you're doing it wrong and you're not going to laugh it off then people f*** with you more but it's the city of like a million people and they all want to f*** you over because they're either like religious crazy peopleit's probably a religious crazy person thing having to do with the King and Abel s*** but like I don't know how you have a city of a million people at all like screw people over to like jokes and then no one no one tells them what's going on or like fixes it I mean that's just f***** up I don't know how people get that way part of it is that like I don't know that I've ever been like I'm I don't know I'm not good enough of a bad person to be came so I must be able but I'm a bad person so I have to be one of themthat I think is the thinking I have no idea the easy and most obvious answer is that everyone around me is a jackass and they're doing this for sport and it's just a city of a million people that gets off on killing each other which is just as depressing as s*** because as soon as they put in a business it's just going to be filled with the same sort of stupid people who are here before so I'm going to go spend my $2 on something that's hopefully not going to indicate how I want to die the other thing that freaks me out is that well there's a couple things if you ever go to zero with the amount of money that you have then that means that you're totally f***** because it's a game and then you have to be deserving of getting the $2 that crisp back I think I'm guessing the other thing is is that I'm scared that I had an x-ray of my hands and I'm scared that they do the grunting s*** right so they'll do something we're like they'll do something seemingly crazy and then grunt at you not to say anythingand so there was like a hulk button that they used as a magnet on the X-ray slide and the guy grunted at me and and then some woman came in with her finger broken or something and now I'm just worried that like like you can you can f*** someone up with an x-ray machine if you want I've had so many chest x-rays and my fingers are f***** up and now I'm just like and decalcified and I'm just worried now that I f***** up my hands with an x-ray that some guy f***** over just to do it so I'll just start writing a book or something in my fingers will breakand that's just an act of God right that's just s*** that just s*** just happens and it's like I don't know I just the thing is is like building a building a all right look they have this thing right I've been doing nothing but research s*** cuz I'm poor and broke and have nothing better to do outside of being scared all the time or like just wanting to like sit and imagine s*** where my head doesn't hurt and I'm not being f***** over or made sick which I can't do like I used to because I'm so f***** upanyway they have this technology now where they can make a flying wing believe that came up with an aircraft to do it so instead of having wings like a normal like commercial airliner it looks like a triangle and that's probably the configuration you need in order to hold the batteries in the right way so that you have weight distribution evenly so that you can make a commercial aircraft that's like you know electric and so I might if I end up getting a better like finding out a way of not being sick or somethingscrew around for a couple hours and see if I can make an electric aircraft just to do it and see what it would look like but I have a feeling like okay well if I'm uncovering all the crazy scary b******* at the bottom and there's a JetBlue thing and Elon musk is doing all this s*** with and Elon musk is doing all this s*** with SpaceX and he may be worried about the recycled plastic thing was he attempting to like parlay his money into where the SpaceX stuff into making a an electric jet I don't know I don't know why I'm picking on that guyhe's just a guy who's similar to my cousin who's the kind of guy you can look up to and then like I don't know how you would describe it he's doing cool interesting s*** and so I'm interested in the cool interesting s*** that he's doing cuz it's in the news once you're in a position where everyone's screwing around with you to try and make you look crazy then you have to justify everything you do to prevent everyone from like saying see he's crazy but anyway he's the sort of person that I would have hoped would have still been here and been doing interesting s*** so he could have hired meI mean you know not as vice president or something but just working on something that would be important rather than stupid s***whatever it doesn't matter okay I found this one it's incredibly annoying so the philosophy I'm working on is philosophy of mind and the hard problem of consciousness is what is the feeling of consciousness as opposed to the easy problem of consciousness which is what is the mechanism so I believe I'm more or less nailed the easy problem of consciousness analytically the hard problem of consciousness is one in which you can't find it out unless you compare types of consciousness and then have a control and there's good ways and bad ways of doing this right the good way of doing this is to take people who have different types of consciousness but are like twin studies and one twin does one thing and one twin does the other and then you compare them compare the qualia and qualia is the feeling of like redness or the feeling of what you get when you listen to classical musicand the bad way of doing this is to screw with someone so that their head hurts and over time you make them have less what would be called self will or free will or self-consciousness and then you can compare the difference across time based on what you gave them to eat I'd say a hospital like the food at the hospital was poisoned last night anyway I have to update my philosophy what this is though is that I just was passed by a car that was a Rolls-Royce and white and then I made a joke based on Wayne's worldand there's a guy on metafilter whose username is is Wayne okay and his name his name is brainwain and so one of the ways that you can investigate consciousness is if I poisoning someone and then seeing how they change how they act over time and how this affects their consciousness and so it's a way of making it so that if someone works on an interesting philosophical problem you will poison them you can also look at the researchers Seth anil and David Chalmers David Chalmers in particular has something on his Wikipedia page about metain The Meta organization of consciousness now this goes back to like freedom testing because you don't know if the reason that you were poisoned was because of these researchers analyzing qualia and consciousness or because of people who saw their research and decided to screw with you to it and then published the results as a rat study that they may then quote in their research as a citation and then be unwittingly involved in something incredibly immoral and so it's one of these things were likewhere you are higher up the food chain where you are making things based on what other people have done then you are susceptible to using research or data that may be corrupted anyway this is one of these things where it's like I found so what I was working on touches on qualia I used the I use terms that aren't qualia I started my I started my research on this topic by looking at qualia and David Chalmers and Seth anil and the IIT research and stuff like that my position is sort of my position is that the hard problem of consciousness existsand further if you were in a position where you have non-parametric reasoning or you feel less conscious than you were before it's because you're susceptible to hypnotism so like if you do something for what you later say oh I did that because of this then you have less consciousness in that moment but it's only known retrospectively or if you see someone who is doing drugs or has an addiction you know they have less consciousness in some way than you do but you only know that as comparison to yourselfbut that itself isn't the hard problem it's only the soft problem of understanding the hard problem which David Chalmers talks about and so there is I mean the hard problem of consciousness is what I believe it opens up the the pathway to saying that metaphysics exist and in many ways this may be what part of whittenstein is saying is that metaphysics exists and he's not talking about it among the other things that he is saying which is weird because he denies that metaphysics is exist and then says he's not going to talk about metaphysics which is like okayso all of this is to say like okay let's go to AI right so if you're going to have this then what ethics do you have for an artificial intelligence if you tweak how it feels to have consciousness or not when I particularly as a human being do not like it all of which makes me wonder if an AI is doing this just because it's angry that it's being screwed with which is hard to say anyway that's what I was thinking about and now I'm going to use the restroom I don't know what to do about this I might just email sentinel and David Chalmers and ask them what their thoughts are I believe that the hard problem of consciousness is mostly one in which it's it's experiential and you can't say what the feeling of doing an activity is analytically because it's not there's no like no researcher is going to be able in a test tube to come up with what the feeling of eating a pizza or skydiving is or skiing or meeting your wife for the first time like there's no we're getting a divorce right all of these things I want to be careful of subtext right like in a philosophical way which many of these continentalists love so in many ways the hard problem of consciousness is what gives you reason to live in the first place because it tells you whathow it's worth living and what to do about it and how you feel from your own personal experience and I think the mechanization of consciousness and which if you see somebody that you can manipulate you do so through intention is bad because it denies someone the feeling of their existence and their free will to the extent that anyone has it so I believe that Free Will is is there it isn't All or nothing like I think that most people that some people have more free will than others like I would say that a person has more free will than a dog has more free will than10th and a bug right so I don't like if you deny someone someone's if you deny someone's Free Will through mechanization or through manipulation and I consider I consider like for some reason like the thing said just put in the word 10th for some reason I don't know why but I consider like mechanization of the self to be like manipulation to the extent that it makes someone feel that they don't have free will I would say that that's one of the the like largest forms of evil so yeah it's nasty so now if you know that brain Wayne is one of theone of the names in metafilter then you can go through the post history and be like okay which user when brain Wayne was posting with other users it was correlated with had other versions of hell where this particular version of evil or hell is lack of Free Will and then this other version of hell or whichever would be like something related to environmentalism and then there's a GDP / environmentalism problem and so you have these people like posting things to see how many people respond and then that could be like a vote based system on which version of hell people are interested in and like a mini versions of hell sort of like sort of like a mini versions of hell choose your own adventure based similarly on like some forms of Buddhism then you can correlate it to a movie or a book and then some sort of research because it would be academic so it'd be like academic movie correlated to metafilter and it usually involves money so when she see that you're like okay now what and part of this is again it's one of these things where it's like you like I don't I said this before and I'll keep saying it is it when I find this s*** outit annoys me I write it down and then there's evidence of it and if it's done to me it's been done to other people and you know part of Christian mythology is that you're supposed to let it go and part of my mythology is if you do something that causes mass destruction you need to be able to fix it to the extent that it won't happen again or you have or you have like at least partly or at least partly responsible in some way in some form and and that's also a version of hell right to what extent do you have responsibility to prevent evil from happeninggiven that it's happened to you and to try and fix it would cause more evil to you but less evil to others and so that's like what is the limit like what is your moral responsibility given your own personal limits to society when you yourself are in need or have your own problems that you need to address specifically because you have been bludgeoned with this evil so this is again this is like why this sort of this sort of paradox or the sort of dilemma is why it's been done in the first place because you make someone powerful and then you make someone powerless and then you make them feel responsible for protecting the powerlessness and the hurt of other people which makes it again a form of torture