There's also a couple of businesses that are attempting to open specifically after I die in the Mission district because they're being run by crooked gangsters that are assholes. There's a place called "MM" that "sounds" like "tomb" that is a joke based on M&M's based on the fact that my hands are fucked up because it's like the candy. There's a dry cleaners that's called "Nice & Clean" that specifically that has a black guy that will repeatedly smoke joints outside so long as I don't act "nice and clean" (ie I call out the crazy woman at the hospital for in fact being sick). These are people that are equating opening a physical businesses with a bet on how they can have me poisoned or made ill because they're psychotic and I can tell by correlating events. The black guy is more or less completely covered in inflamation and sick. I have no idea how bad it is elsewhere and physically walking to another location may not mean anything. It's fucking ridiculous.
All of the guys in worker jackets are more or less plants and there's no way to get a job with any of the construction crews because they all work in a union. Which is just a short form way of saying fuck you. There is no money here at all. The entire city is a fucking death trap. Oh - and Fox 7 news with the black anchor that's being played in the hospitals appears to in fact be "fake news" being run out of a studio somewhere. I'm guessing in fact literally/actually/no shit either in the PG&E building or underground seeing as the PG&E guys are putting hashtags on the sidewalk that are graffiti signs that don't have to do with the electric grid (or someone else is being cute and seeing if they can design ones that look similar nearby). In any case, I've seen that particular news broadcast changed based on what I'd do or wouldn't do in the hospital which is obnoxious. I totally care about this shit and not having competent medical care or not going blind or blowing white snot out my nose and having a shelter laugh at me because they found out I was being drugged by someone they didn't expect. It's just fucking horrendous.
The "spiders" are "spy-ders" that are now coming in en-masse that have a certain type of speech pattern. This may be the joke about "volvos". They tend to say "oh no" quite a bit and laugh at the "flys" that tend to be people that are going to make someone sick. It's a sort of antibody pattern I believe. It's supposed to make it so that you become dependent on a certain form of protection from another group of people unless you're "hard" and can hurt someone and therefore have people that will protect you from the flys and the spiders. In this case if the "spying on the ders" become sufficiently annoyed I get stuck with the flies. In either case I'm sickened to death unless I'm willing to do something dangerous to prove that I'm cool and therefore scare away people that would otherwise cause the spread of sickness or at least what amounts to a holding pattern where everything merely rots in place. Anything you say around either group will get it so that they attempt to mask their behaviour patterns by changing them in which case they still perform the same sociological function. It may be a dials/knobs or switches/gauges joke. No idea. I just want to leave and I have no resources and money and I don't trust that anything will change if I go elsewhere. Everyone here is crazy and evil.
Oh and there's this false narrative thing where you're supposed to continually do the thing which "provies" that you're not crazy. So if you do the thing that's not a prior habit then it proves the lie about what was said or assumed about you and then someone will say "sorry" or something stupid after the person that lied about you to a joke is sickened or drugged. The latest, according to how my computer at the library is being spied upon, is that I'll log in to another server that's outside the united states to play dungeon crawl stone soup because "the united states isn't a dungeon so he didn't *mean* that". I believe it's a play on words having to do with "mean" (a grinch joke) and the fact that I've developed a language based on set theory. Which can have sentences that contain similes and metaphors "the man was sharper than a tack" "the woman spoke flames of glory" quite easily - it's based on sets so the latter sentence would be close to "the words of the woman contained flames coming from glory" or some such. I never said that it was without context. But like all crazy assholes it's much easier to poison and hurt the engineers and scientists than build anything. Which is why San Francisco is closer to a dumpster fire than flames of glory. They're dogshit.
See - me. I know I don't know everything and I respect people that are competent and can get things done that aren't going to hurt or sicken me. And I like money. So I wouldn't go around and poison any of the engineers. Or try and start a business by taking a bet on how I can poison someone. "Oh he likes businesses lets see if I can just smoke drugs outside this laundromat until the words of the laundromat correspond to his name because it bothers him when he's drugged and misled repeatedly and he likes to reference his family because (he used to) have respect for them more than me and then someone will give me bitcoin". Assholes in other words. Also love it when you go into the libraries and find all the books with the name Peter to see if you can't find people that are more accomplished than me and then fuck with me to that guy's life story until I find the book and so on. Yes, *I know* you're all incredibly talented and cunning, but unfortunately you're also all cunts. You're art is shit and you're boring because you paint murals on the sides of abandoned buildings. Once all the people that were dying of drugs were gone nothing else showed up. Imagine! Sidewalks 15 feet across and no people because no one fucking wants to be here.
Oh. And another thing. A Confederacy of Dunces *has to* be about Gabe Newell (the guy that owns Valve Software) and the Levi's family. I'm assuming that Gravity's Rainbow (or another book that's similar - it'll be found out within the next 5 years anyway just from LLM datamining so it doesn't particularly matter) has to be about Steve Wozniak - they're both inflamation balloons, and no I don't want to be poisoned until I have this sick. You know what? His computer box company may or may not be successful but you'll be able to have supercomputers so quickly and so cheaply that it'll be quickly replaced. I care more about the fact that he has a fleet of submarines *to run away* from everyone and the city that is making fun of him is a ruins. I'm assuming that that it's him, Wozniak, or a small collection of guys.
I mean realistically you have to figure that all information that you can have an army of agent based simulation bots work on is a known solved problem at this point. It's just a matter of electricity. But I still can't get a job digging a ditch or whatever unless there's an "intake" or some other form of "and now we're going to drug and fuck with you to a collection of idiots". Great. You're assholes. So nothing gets built and the world stagnates and the next guy that's holed up in his apartment with enough of these little boxes will push a button and cure cancer or make tons of money by owning electricity until that hits the price of electricity and it becomes a commodity. No one is going to pay me to do anything and all they do is repeatedly sicken me because everyone here is an ass. I mean I always ask and the answer is always no or we're in a union. More or less everyone here just wants me to die and they've decided as a mob to do so.
And the insane are everywhere. I'm not joking about the woman in the hospital (the psych ward across the street from the hospital). She's affected to the point where if there's an office phone (one of the standard phones in the room) she'll act as if it's recording the conversation. She had a mask in her hands and when I mentioned it she said "well actually we have to wear it". When I unplugged the phone she started saying "kinda" repeatedly. She's either insane or sick. I figure all the assholes in the city keep having social services give me sick women to see if I'll interact with them like they're not paranoid schizophrenics because it's funny. I'm so fucking tired of this shit. She was probably one of the girls from the psych ward and then if she got me to sign up for social services in some way someone would get a pay off and I'd be given some debilitating illness of some kind. You're just all fucking assholes.
I'm listening to the flies and the spiders having a conversation. The other thing that's typical of this sort of bullshit parade is that the flies get all sorts of stupid shit for free and then the spiders will tell them what they can do or what they can't based on how they sicken someone. So if the person relies on "the law" the spiders will repeatedly tell someone that they can't have the thing or that the thing that they used to have they can't have anymore. This is "myth-making" having to do with animals and Renfield (I'm assuming). As in I'm not making this up so much as you use a narrative that has to do with animals to guide sociological behaviour among sick people so that they form offsetting psychiatric illnesses in order to contain plague. It's fucking awful and all it does is make it so that people get killed. I want to leave and have a job doing anything other than this shit.
"Oh no!" is also a joke because "CNN" has "see tune" (you see the joke but the joke is a cartoon). And you can say it forward and backward (like racecar) ie a "palindrome" (you're not a palentir you're a palindrome - also see the company - ugh). Also the N backwards in russian is an "i" so it's like "Oi!" which is a jewish expression of angst, so it's a shit way to remind someone that you have a "song" against them and that going backwards requires payment. In like a shitty childish way to someone that is mentally defective that has hurt someone else through a complicated means or has taken payment in kind as a form of graft. Barf. And then if you say anything you're against free speech or it's stairway to heaven. Godel proves than any ideology is incomplete and no I would not like everyone going "oh perfect" around me. Typically the "imperfection" that is supposed to "qualify" someone as part of society according to crazies that have to have this as a requirement is that if you have money it's ok because you'll do without if you don't have it. I *want* a job. I keep asking and the answer is always bullshit or no. So money apparently doesn't count for someone willing to work. Which means that the entire city is a lie for anyone that just wants to work and then be left alone because everyone has decided this is now a thing. Yes, I wrote a paper saying compound interest does not work in the long term *and it doesn't*. I do not want to have my life dictated by having people decide how they're going to poison me if I do the wrong thing (according to them). Which is how this city is run now for some reason. But that's cool. Never have an idea that is counter to your entire life philosophy or is nuanced or be a hypocrite in anyway or you'll be drugged and poisoned according to crazy myth making having to do with assholes (like the "city neighborhood" thing - gross - and I could be working on rockets or something).
Oh and that asian guy that talks about Jesus at the Yeshua table in front of the levi's building? I stood there and watched while they saw what I would do while he has a moment with another guy. The guy spent the majority of his life doing as many drugs as possible and being gay (like having sex with men gay - I mean I'm assuming) and then when I'd walk by his thing he would start in on this shit "and jesus the lord came to his disciples and he said unto them..." and I'd walk past "...that you must go your own way and stand tall in the face of unrighteousness". For three fucking years. One time I stopped there they tried to make it off like it was a big joke of some kind. The last time I watched there were hoards of people that walked around the area because (I'm assuming) they were scared that I was going to kill him as he soul gazed into this other guy (which I'm assuming is supposed to be a joke about what's in the guys backpack and in other circumstances someone would be given a backpack filled with stupid shit after they'd done drugs or something and were sick). There was a guy filled with inflamation holding on to dear life to a kid (that may or may not have been his - the kid looked uncomfortable and for all I know they were being trafficked) with a shirt that had a picture of the thorns of jesus' crown and the phrase "covered in his drip" (I had been poisoned in such a way that I had a painful headache in what I'm assuming may have led to problems and which one doctor had told me - at least it's not "brain bleed"). Oh and the entire thing had the smell of a bad staging act complete with the one guy arguing about perfection. No, perfection is not my religion. Yes, I have tattoos that are similar to pythagorean seed of life shit. It's almost as if absoltely no one bothered to ask and they decided to fuck with me to bullshit for years for no reason while denying me money because they're psychotic.
So I'm assuming it's a gay fake priest and some other crazy people having to do with pedophilia and having me drugged or sickened repeatedly. Not a pedophile. Not a priest but whatever that is seemed fucked up (to the extent that other people there appeared worried that I would kill the guy or something - not that I knew what was going on and had anything to act on seeing as everyone will just poison each other when the other person isn't looking and then wear a shirt about it). Everyone here is just a fucking monster. And you know what? I just don't care about sex that much anymore. I don't. I'm so thoroughly disgusted with people in general that I just want to have enough money that I don't have to be bothered with them as much as possible and can have those things that won't make me hurt and might be enjoyable. And my health. And I don't want to live here and be reminded of how fucked up everything is all the time. That's about it. My chest burns from what I'm assuming is being poisoned somehow - I've coughed up blood recently. I hurt all the time. That's what comes from coming to this evil shithole.
We don't believe in cops and our information security is dogshit. That guy looks strange! He must be a cop! Someone said he's a pedophile! He doesn't like our religion or thing! Kill him! Take his shit! Make him sick and crippled!
Everyone in San Francisco is a cunt and there's no amount of technology that can fix that. And I know that the whole time the point was that there's some sort of plan to have me shipped off to Austin or somewhere else that's predetermined based on how smart or good I am. See if you're smart enough to speak chinese you get to stay in San Francisco, but if you end up preaching you get sent to Texas. All done by RICO and making it so that you have no money and can't do anything on your own unless you're willing to walk out of the city after being crippled and having no resources. And then you "owe" someone something for this stupid shit.
Well...*actually*...and the news and internet is back to race/religion bating on fear/uncertainty/doubt terms. Courage/certainty/knowledge is wonderful (in San Francisco as in elsewhere) as every possible experience you've had didn't involve you being repeatedly poisoned and sickened while being lied to and denied the means to support yourself or appropriate medical care. I should be more courageous and jump in front of this bus over here repeatedly. Well, *actually* given that I've done this to the magic schoolbus that is the hell that is this city I probably have. OH! And here's something "fun" (they tried to make fun a derogatory word for a while as MARN HAVE FUN is written all over the ghetto which can be flanderized into "Narc" after a couple iterations). So. If you want to poison someone so they get sick the way that you do it is that you given them a poison and then pair this with *another* poison, and a kidney disorder. The trick, and this is in fact difficult, is to make it so that you can affect one kidney at a time so you can give them problems on one side of the body or the other. This is in fact possible if you poison someone so that one poison affects one kidney and another poison the other. Weird right? Anyway, two days ago in front of a health clinic at 55 Embarcadero they were giving out "Magic" brand donuts (for free) of which I had one and then had my kidneys hurt for hours while other food that I ate in the shelter most likely started poisoning me as my body digested it from the previous night. See either one or the other is fine (neat word, fine - I'm fine mom, I'm fine doc, I'm fine donut lady from hell) and you won't get into trouble but both together is poisoning someone to Batman Returns. The other one is to give someone a catalyst to a poison that will kill them. I believe I have a poison in my body such that if I'm given the catalyst my bones will melt until I'm hunched over and sick. There's a Mexican guy with a green car (an "old school" one) that was washing it and whistling to himself the day that someone put the catalyst in my milk in the morning. Cool right? So I have a poison in my body where if someone gives me the catalyst my back will break and they can give it to me a little at a time over a period of years until I have my back broken. Awesome. Don't come here to work. Don't come here with anything about your life that is in anyway different than the norm at all for any reason. If they do this crazy shit to you and then you act out they'll pull an ancient religion out of their ass to prove that this means that it's ok to torture you because you won't immediately turn around and forgive them for repeatedly poisoning and sickening you because the bible for some reason. And then you all of a sudden like forgiveness because *surprise* you've been a nice pleasant good person all your life and you don't know how to act like an asshole because it takes physical effort against your personal character to go out of your way to be a prick and so the rug pulling and brainwashing to bullshit will have someone try and convince you their particular brand of bullshit is right.
And if that's not the case then there is absolutely no right and wrong whatsoever other than not getting caught or telling on other people. In San Diego when I was begging for food and buying things they wouldn't charge me tax even if I asked them to because it was obnoxious. Everyone here is just such a fucking ass that every time I think of anything having to do with this place all I can think to myself is "goddamn is everyone here such a fucking cunt". Oh look there's the street corner where I saw someone die. That's the location where I was poisoned. There's the place where they lied to me. There's the place over there where they wouldn't give me a job. And then they'll ship me off somewhere and everyone will lie to me about how wonderful it is like a joke about going to heaven or some fucking thing where not one of those assholes would have helped me out of this city.
Here are the things for which I know at this point are wrong with my body - from being repeatedly poisoned. All over the course of the last 3 years.
- There's something wrong with my hands that I don't know what it is but for some reason I can sometimes taste things through my fingers. This happened while I was 555 Embarcadero where over 100 people died or disappeared over the course of 3 months. Neat bar trick, I'm worried it may end up killing me. Yes, it's true. No I don't want to show you. Also my fingers are fucked up and twisting and I'm worried they may never heal. There's scaling on the fingers that may end up becoming worse. It hurts to write which I believe was meant to be the point. I also can now crack my knuckles by twisting my findgers which is bad.
- I don't sweat out of my face anymore but I can sweat out of other parts of my body for some reason. I have flaking problems throughout my scalp. I can push shit out of my nose (acne) that is hard, white and so I don't sweat. I worry that it may be something dangerous as it's been getting worse.
- My feet are fucked up where they now turn outwards for some reason and I have scaling on my knees which was laughingly referred to as "pig knees" by someone that knew how I would be poisoned in advance. The skin of my feet has turn scaled (similar to on my hands where the creases become white and don't go away) and now I get athletes foot all the time. Blisters on my feet don't go away and when they do they leave holes in my feet to the point where I'm worried that my feet and hands will shed fat and skin and not grow back until I can't walk and I have skeletal hands. I don't know how this is possible but it appears to be the case. I worry that this may be caused either by fibrosis or a connective tissue disease in conjunction with a bacterium of some kind that my immune system can't fight off specifically because the food in the shelters is not healthy enough to prevent it. I should also mention that this may contribute to people losing feet.
- I stepped on possibly the only needle in the city that had something wrong with it and now occasionally my leg will go numb. I should also mention that the carafe in the shelter has been often poisoned and there's at least one person in the shelter who is black (many of the blacks *really* hate white people) that is in a wheelchair that may have been responsible for having me poisoned so there's now something wrong with my lower back that causes me to be in immense pain. I've already mentioned the poisoning in the milk that may have had a hand in activating a catalyst that causes widespread problems. I've also been sickened to the point where I'll have the shakes and I won't know why but there could be something serious wrong internally that won't show up on a scan. I should also mention that more or less all the shoes you can get in the city are intentionally poisonous. I've had someone give me shoes with tin in the souls for which the piezoelectric force created hairs that showed up in my upper lip and arms. Unfortunately not only is this true, but may have contributed to the taste thing. This came from clothing given to me at St. Anthony's shelter where I still occasionally have to eat so I don't die of malnutrition. The homeless were all excited that I might steal "Dr. Scholes" inserts from a Walgreens. Because they're sick and stupid.
- I'm going blind and I don't know why. It could be the Dr. Scholes thing in my eyeballs this time. And then that would probably be one Volvo ad as a joke and the other Volvo ad would be the thing about having a catalyst in my body that can be given to me that will cause my body to melt if someone gives me the right kind of poisonous food. Which was given to me at the 1050 S. Van Ness location. If I go to the Hospital system and participate in the clinic at San Francisco General they'll probably be able to tell me why I have constant headaches and then have me poisoned in some other third way which will cause excruciating pain and debilitating illness and then someone will pay to put up a Volvo ad or something.
You can't tell me a secret this stupid and then expect me to keep it to myself. I'll end up telling someone. You're just torturing someone to do it because you're an evil tool. Part of the problem with attacking someone with a mob, with no trial, no evidence, not even any hint of what wrong doing even means, is that you'll just sicken and fuck over someone for no reason at all just to do it - which makes you a horses ass. Oh and the whole coughing up blood thing which is probably from someone putting something poisonous on my bedding. The joke here is that you're supposed to have sick that's so weird that you can't go to the hospitals anymore because they won't know how to fix it. This is all sorts of useful for assholes that want to do things like put medication in your food without telling you so that you have to eat the food in order to fix the things that are wrong with you. My legs are still tingling and hurt all the time. And I can not eat but no one will give me money and they'll just watch me starve. The general assistance office was having the reps routinely sicken me to their children to see if they couldn't have their kid give COVID to the poor repeatedly.